An incredible story...
My friend Nathan from Designer Drug Ministry passed along this awesome story to me that I wanted to share with you all on this fabulous Fall Friday!
My name is John Ashley and this is my story.
My childhood was a fair childhood. My parents taught me to be kind and considerate to others and most of all to be good. I found that through my younger years of schooling that I was not the academic type. I loved sports and all that other fun stuff. I grew up in an area, which was rural, and the majority of households had a lot of dysfunction. Knowing that I still had my parents together and do to this day had influenced loyalty and determination onto my relationships. I was a country lad and proud of it. Unfortunately to my surprise I was sent to highly driven academic school and left my friends for the senior years. When I arrived to the time I left, the social pretenses and bulls*** threw me to the gutter. I began to believe what they said and began to hate myself to some extent.
The first reason I decided to take drugs and drink was because I wanted to fit in. I liked it a lot. I then found that my so called friends always wanted to get on and they never wanted to “get connected” as it were. So I did the usual thing and started to buy in bulk. I thought I would make sure no one would miss out on a good night. I felt that i gained some importance with my new role. However, having that much on myself at any given time was detrimental. What I didn’t sell i ate and what i couldn’t eat I gave away. So very quickly, I became dependant on mdma, speed, alcohol, and acid and every cent I earned went straight onto drugs. I had a co dependant relationship during such time where drugs and money were always hot topic.
After a while i was getting worse in the head. The lies and theft started surfacing and then fights to no extent. I always was the one in hospital at the end of it. By this time i thought it would be good for a change of scenery. So i sold my parents car from under them for one last bender and then headed down to new south whales. I got involved with heavier crews, got knocked back from the army several times and was put out on the street for possession of drug utensils. I didn’t really care. The clubs were my new home and i knew that i could crash at some randoms. Well I remembered where a guy who i bought some gear off the night before lived. I went around there and he had overdosed on GBH /GHB. I knew i couldn’t leave him so i took care of him and waited for the morning to come. I asked if he was ok by morning and from that day on i was hooked on new and exotic drugs.
At the time i was happy to live to 25, just in full self destruct mode. Getting tolerance for 13pingers 1g of speed and 400 on the bar every night. The next morning was all about special K and GBH. I could only stay awake for 5 days at a time but by then on two accounts i was put in hospital. It didn’t take too long for me to get into psychosis and start seeing things. I had no control over what my mind was doing to me. i had never felt so scared. I knew that i had overstepped the boundary and crossed over. All the fuzzy men started to appear people were talking about me when they weren’t, even though i could see their mouths moving. So i thought it best if i pull back for a while and get away from those bad things. It was evil stuff. i ended up staying with a witch fully into the black magic stuff. on a few occasions i had extreme spiritual attacks where i was helpless and to the point of suffocation. As soon as i could i was gone.
Coming back home got me away from the heavy drugs however there was still copious alcohol to be had. I knew i had a problem so i went to the doctor and he prescribed me xanax to get off the alcohol. I took one straight after the visit and knew i would love to mix them with other drugs. So then i started my prescription era. Mixing it all together. That lasted for about a year and by then i had lost everyone i love and no employer wanted me. Most of all i hated myself. The amount of pain and suffering i caused to everyone and myself was too much to bear. All my friends were gone and all of them knew i needed help. My mother gave me a number to ring to get help and so i did. It took me about three months to work up the courage to do something about it but when i called i believe god had already put things in place.
I had my rehab interview on the Monday and was in on the Wednesday. That was the start of my journey in recovery. Confused as all hell on why i was there, but knew in my heart that it was time for a change. I remember sitting on the sidewalk completely spaced out looking at people walking past with genuine smiles and all that stuff and i broke down in tears wishing i could remember what that actually felt like.
So as i went through rehab and my journey of recovery God blessed me with some incredible things. I am now happily married, have a place i can call my own and a job where i can’t wait to go to work, my family is reunited as well as growing a whole new family among the faith and those in recovery. Oh and not to mention 19 months clean time. I know it doesn’t sound like much but if god delivered my hearts desires in that amount of time what fruits will bear through the rest of my life? When he moves mountains He moves them quickly. Love ya’s God Bless
Aussie John.
