Hiding in plain sight...
One of the most terrifying things about living in today’s world is facebook.
And twitter.
And whatever your other social network of choice is.
All of these networks have succeeded in connecting me with friends, family, and occasionally even strangers instantly, but they also feed into a major hurdle to dealing with addictive patterns, accountability. Lately I have found myself looking at how full and satisfying my life on the internet is when it comes to friends and comparing it to how incredibly lonely I can feel in the midst of all the tweets, messages, and wall posts. Tonight I spent three hours with friends watching TV. I literally felt just as alone as I do when I am online. I miss having in depth conversations on a regular basis, I miss having real accountability.
It’s as if all of our connectedness is keeping us from holding each other accountable. Not simply in a very serious recovery type of accountability, but just in being open and honest. I am accountable for my friendships. If I have a good friend who is struggling with a health issue, relationship problems, or school I should know about it.
At the end of the day it is easier to just live with the façade of important friendships. Tweet about my bad day hoping someone responds. Interact with people on my own terms, no give and take required. However more and more I’m feeling like I am hiding. I am blessed with people around me who care about me and instead of putting myself out there and making the effort to connect, I am hiding. Hiding right here in plain sight on twitter/facebook/etc. and masking my longing for a friend to sit with and have coffee with a friend with a few trite words on a bright screen.
As we are all on a journey that requires healing and taking one day at a time, my prayer is that you will be able to reach out to those around you who have the potential to be great friends.
Remember I love you all.
Email me if you want to talk.
