Punch addiction in the neck...
I just wrote one post.
I proceeded to scrap it. It may come back. I don’t know.
I was reading other posts by the bloggers here onheartsupport and I needed to get something out—not that they were offending me or anything, more inspiring. I am having a difficult week. I have (re)turned to my addiction to false intimacy to help me cope with life. I hate it. It sucks.
But to me this is what addiction looks like. There are those who may say that because I constantly struggle with my past and present temptations that I am losing the battle, that I am failing. Some may even venture to question my faith or my reputation because of my mistakes. I have heard this point of view spewed from churches, friends, and holier than thou experts on the television for years. Every time I do I sink deeper into a funk, buying into the point of view that these people are selling.
In no way am I saying these people are wrong. What I am saying is that I so rarely hear a voice saying that no matter where you are, what you are doing, as long as you are making it to the next day, you are not failing.
I used to put certain people up on pedestals.
People who beat their addiction.
People who no longer had problems.
What’s that? They still had problems?
Right. Well I never heard that part.
I am a constantly recovering addict.
Every day I wake up and have the will to get out of bed I am punching addiction in the neck.
I just think that needed to be said.
P.S. I love you for being strong enough to wake up today with an addiction and continuing to go on with life. For reals.
