whoever said money could buy happiness was a liar.
You know, I’ve been pondering this blog for the last week and I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what to say. Even though I understand my own addiction, it’s hard to write them down and make these thoughts make sense. I've never been good at communicating what is very personal for me and, I'll be honest, talking about where I’ve been is difficult.
So I guess I’ll just say what’s been going through my head lately regarding money addiction (which manifests as a shopping addiction for me). Maybe you can relate...
I’ve had a life-long battle with depression and my addictive shopping always makes me believe my next purchase will be The One to make everything okay. I can be having the worst day, but shopping can turn it all around and make it better- and it's always quantity over quality. Shopping takes over common sense and reason, but I never realize that until the damage has been done. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter how much I buy or how much I spend, it always ends the same...the feeling and that high don't last. As soon as that feeling dissipates, I’m back to where I started. It’s a vicious cycle.
Addiction has consequences- and usually very serious ones. Addiction is something that you go back to, time and time again, despite these consequences. In a country of excess, many people have unhealthy shopping habits, but not everyone is addicted. If you keep shopping, despite many reasons to not (debt, delinquency with credit cards, needing to hide purchases, lying to cover purchases, alienating relationships to go spend money, stealing, etc), then you have escalated from buying excessively to a detrimental behavior.
If any of this is ringing true for you, believe me when I say I know it’s hard. It’s always easier to dust things under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist...but all that does is hurt you in the long run. Even though it’s hard to face your finances and be honest with yourself about what you spend (and why), it’s absolutely imperative. It’s better to face it now before your financial and personal life are ruined.
