No one ever is really there.

After my parents got divorced I have not lived in the same house for over 2 year. I have moved at lest 30 times, between 3 states. And my mom is thinking about it again. I hate having to make new friends because they always hate me until about 2 months before I move again. But since about two and a half years ago I 've been depressed and suicidal. And many of the people I used to be friends with always said "You can always talk tome about anything." I actually tried talking about a few of the newer things I have started do, which include drugs, smoking, and drinking. My friend that i tried to talk to, who was my best friends for 2 year, actually refused to talk to me and instead decided to hang out with a guy she had met 2 days before. That night I took about an entire bottle of Asprin, went out and did drugs, and almost killed myself because of my so-called best friend.

I have stopped cutting, but I still smoke, do drugs, and drink. And I also still have thoughts of suicide. I have never met someone who is actually always there for me. I have been there for many of my other friends. I am trying to stop doing the drugs and drinking but for me it has become extremely hard, because that's my way of forgeting the pain. I need someone to talk to that will actually listen to what I have to say and help me through it.