Buddies W/ A Toliet all Summer
You think you are skinny until you turn on the television. When you see the skinny rockstars that look anorexic or bulimic. My heart just sinks when I see someone thinner than me; people say I'm the skinnest girl in school, but all I see is an obese fatty girl in the mirror and when I look at myself. I take laxatives when ever I eat over 200...
i no its bad so whay cant i stop
i have never been the pretty in my school. because whaen i was 12 years old i was told i was fat by a couple of mean girls. for several months they had tortured me. so all toghether i went home.taking any pills i could find and then made myself throw up on purpose. the next day i stoped eating.the only real meal i eat is dinner. and now those...
Life snowballed till I didn't recognize me anymore....
I'm 21 and have extremely LOW self esteem and confidence, to the point I can't even talk in small groups cause I feel like everyone is disgusted and judging me. So I'll start where this began growing up I was always in beauty pageants and modeling. Then in the 9th grade my agency told me I needed to lose weight cause I wouldn't get work...
I Look Like Crap Everyday
I don't know when I develped such horrible eating habits, but this summer I didn't have a job. And all I had to do was lay around. So I gained like, twenty pounds. When you're only 5'5" and already a little chubby, twenty pounds is a SHIT. TON. And now it's like... I know that I look like crap. It's like that feeling you have when you don't...
When will it stop?
3rd Grade: Maybe it was because of my extremely curly red hair, my overweight family history...something, but when I entered this new year I became extremely conscientious about my waist line. When I wore anything, no matter much people could see my figure I sucked it in as long as I could.
4th Grade: November 11, 2002...loss of my brother...
I can't stop..
I have been bulimic since I was 15 years old. I have been hospitalized because of it and I cant talk to anyone about it because i know they will judge me. Sometimes I get so sick and I start convulsing. Its very scary and i wish I could stop. When you have this image in your head that youre not good enough its hard to stop trying to make...
FAT
so my problem is i cant stop eating... no matter how hard i try... when i was little i was cute... now im just fat and ugly... food is a comfort for me... when my parents where goin threw there divorce i had a bag of doritos hidden under my bed and i would eat them while i could hear them arguing downstairs... i would also be balling my eyes...
The Struggle for normalcy
My name is Jennifer and I am struggling with bulimia. It has been off and on but mostly on for 4 years. Growing up I was chunky as a child and was teased for the way I looked by the popular girls. I always tried to be a part of them but never could. I tried all sorts of things from trying to buy designer clothes although my parents could not...
Dying and starting not to care.
350 pounds keeps me from repeating my childhood abuse in men's bedrooms, even if it doesn't keep out of an addiction to porn. They say I need a tracheostomy, but my lungs would collapse with all that weight. My sleep apnea is making me swell up and turn blue and I dream I'm dying. Sometimes I hallucinate when I can't breathe. An eating...
Can Anyone Help Me?
Okay, so I'm 23 years old, and have been cutting since I was seven. I have also gone as far as to try to commit suicide. (by more than just cutting) I don't like that I feel that this is the only way I can cope. But it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel better. I also suffer from Bulimia, Anorexia, and Alcoholism. But back to the...
Your not supposed to be this way...
It all started with the little jokes people would say. I never used to think I was fat until my aunt one day told me I was gettinc chubby. I have always been in sports ate good meals. But apparently it wasn't cutting it. So my frehsman year I began to skip meals. Sophmore year I began to purge and somedays not eat at all. Days would go by when...
All I Really Wanted...
Its funny how we search for love...when the only place we needed to go was God. Love has been such a confusing thing for as long as I can remember. I was sexually abused during my childhood...by someone I thought loved me. I couldnt understand. I was so insecure from it. Insecurity ruled my life.
I was a dancer from 6 years old till 6 months...
But Now I See
For 12 years I have struggled with an eating disorder. I had been in and out of many secular hospitals and programs which never seemed to have any lasting effect. I also sought happiness through many other worldly means; like men, looks, success and career; but once achieved, I still felt very empty, unfulfilled and alone. After accepting...
help me
I used to be completely happy with my body. I felt really good. Then, a little over a year ago, I was told that I wasn't fat, but for a dancer I was getting chubby. And that started it. I cannot remember the last time I looked in a mirror and was happy. I started to starve myself, but I was still miserable and started to eat normally again. Now...
Unknown Disorder.
When I was 15 I was diagnosed bi-polar, and was put on a medication called "Zyprexa". One of the side effects is weight gain. I gained 20 pounds which made comments from my parents start pouring out about how I got "chubby." About 6 months of being ridiculed for the fact that I was no longer 5'8" and 125lbs but now 145lbs, I was perscribed...
Start An Eating Disorder
I always hated my weight feeling ugly obese. So i started trying to go with anorexia to start off but that seemed to be hard to starve my own body. So slowly i took more food away from myself everytime eating food with guilt telling myself i will be more ugly. I started filling my mind with skinny bands and models saying to myself im younger...
Just a Thought
I'm definately not your normal girl. I used to cut, been depressed, and now have had thoughts of throwing up, or starving myself to lose weight.
I'm not what you call fat, I was actually born two months early, so I'm guess what you could a lil "underweight". But everytime I look at myself, I definately don't like what I see.
This past...
Food Addiction
I am a 43 year old woman who started gaining weight at the age of six. I am truly addicited to food. I love it. I eat to eat. I've tried seveal diets, but have never been able to follow through. I would try any diet pill, if someone told me I was sure to loose weight. No matter what the safety would be but would choose not to stop eating. I...
just recently started
alot lately i have been being told that i was fat and needed to lose weight. i had always thought that i was but never as bad as i people said. after a while i had realized that what people were saying was true. i started making myself throw up. it doesnt seem to be working though. i really need help. i dont want it to become a bad habbit.
Faith 4 The Journey
Recently I found myself down on my knees, winded by all that life had thrown at me and unable to see any hope for a future. I fell deep into a black pit of despair and believed that where I was, no one could rescue me.
I had reached the end of my own ideas, my feeble strength had given way and my wisdom had revealed itself as foolishness. It...
My 'Eating Disorder.'
To start this off, I'm just going to say that I don't eat lunch at school.
Well, one day I was sitting at the lunch tabel just talking to my friends or whatever and one of the guys that sit there was like 'Why don't you eat lunch? You're anerexic.' and I said 'No im not, I just don't like the school lunch.' [Which I really don't like it.] But...
DISCOVERING THE POSITVE {ED}
I'm FAT! gross! ugly! it's nasty how i look! i need to lose weight! exercise...starve!! purge what u ate fat ass!! Do it! no one likes your ugly ass!! you the meaning of bad .....???? Thoughts were going crazy in my head, i didn't know why i was feeling like this? or what was going on in my life during that time.? I thought everything was...
i just can't stop.
i eat so much. i eat when im bored, when im sad, when i need something to do. i mostly eat when im upset and i hate looking at myself in the mirror because i look so ugly and fat. when i am so upset looking at myself i sometimes cry and as i said earlier i eat to stop the pain and then i feel bad after i am done because it is gone and now i...
Slow Process
I moved to Indianapolis in 2000, my brother had it rough where we used to live and was eager for the move. That's when it all started, my weight jumped more than I thought it would and my brother immediately noticed and has continued to till this day and insult me about it. 9 years of verbal abuse, and of wondering why I was so fat, so ugly,...
Is too little okay???
This happens every time i get to a certain point. i loose control of my eating habbits. I dont really know how it happens. I get stressed and mad and the sad part is sometimes i dont even notice how i feel. I dont know how i loose control or that i even have.
I build up stress a lot and it sure can accumilate! most people eat more and stuff....
6yrs
so im just gonna get to the point;
i have suffered from anerxia and bulima
in 7th grade i started starving myself. i was big for my age. i was 148 at 12 yrs old. it worked so i kept it up i would stop when i reched my goal and start when i felt bad again. i eventually got caught by my mom. i stoped for about 4 months. but i started gaining...
Darkness before Dawn
It started my sophomore year in high school. I didn't fit in, I wasn't athletic, and it was just a New Years resolution to get healthier. I took up jogging, started eating "healthier". The spiral of control began and by April I had to be hospitalized due to malnutrition, severe dehyrdration, bradycardia, and the beginnings of hypothermia. I was...
Beautiful
I love green beans. Vegetables appear on my plate at every meal. I love cottage cheese with fruit and I am a sucker for tofu. Sugar free pudding is considered a dessert. I count calories, drink green tea and use an egg substitute. These meal time routines have been engraved in my menu since the sixth grade. Oh sixth grade, the year the name...
Life through the Pain
I faced a lot of rejection in grade school. I had "friends" who only used me and didn't really care about me. I made real friends in Middle School, but by then I was on the search for a boyfriend. All I faced again was rejection from guys. They would act like they liked me, then turn around and ignore me. I felt fat, stupid, and worthless. I...
THE TURN AROUND
I was the one who was all ways pcked on in class was hurt called fat and it lead me down the narrow path i backed away from jesus decided that i was the one everyone hated including jesus but i turned bulimic and desired food abnd made me throw it up i went to church now in than talked to one of my friends about it and he told me more than...
