But Now I See

For 12 years I have struggled with an eating disorder. I had been in and out of many secular hospitals and programs which never seemed to have any lasting effect. I also sought happiness through many other worldly means; like men, looks, success and career; but once achieved, I still felt very empty, unfulfilled and alone. After accepting Christ into my life 3 ½ years ago, I discovered that Christianity was not the boring and restrictive thing I thought it to be. I knew deep inside that God wanted to bring me full circle into the person He created me to be and that the only thing that could free me from my bondage was a relationship with Jesus Christ.
This led me to go to Mercy Ministres, an experience that has revolutionized my life. I discovered that even if I sat in this chair and did nothing for the rest of my life, I would still be loved and accepted by Christ because of His mercy and grace, through which I am capable of doing all things. God taught me that His love is the only thing in this world that is constant and unchanging. He has taken away my fear, because He has not given me a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. During my time at Mercy my faith was tremendously strengthened and God taught me not to just believe His promises but to expect them. I learned that God honors obedience not sacrifice and how to walk in that. He restored the joy in my relationship with Him where I can praise and thank Him in all circumstances, good and bad, seen and unseen. There, God shed me of every other thing that I used to identify myself with in order to teach me that my true identity is found in Him and who He says I am in His word. He rekindled a passion in me for reaching those lost in the sex industry and porn addiction. Working in publishing gave me a heart for showing them the love of Christ and that He has so much more for them. He restored in me a hopeful future and that anything is possible for those that believe and abide in Him. At Mercy I discovered that I am already free from the eating disorder because of the power of the blood of Jesus Christ. Not once was the word “recovery” mentioned, I discovered for the first time that with Jesus there is no “living in recovery”, no, there is only freedom.

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