Everyone is going to fail you. It’s impossible for them not to.
The problem with trust is when you trust someone thinking they won’t ever jeopardize that trust. It is completely IMPOSSIBLE for you to not have heartache in a deeply committed relationship. There are going to be trials in your relationship, some small……others HUGE! You may come across a season where you feel abandoned, betrayed or abused…..that your trust has been taken advantage of.
I mean this with family, significant others, best friends etc..
But this is the life of human kind. We want to love, we don’t know how to love, we do what we think is right based on our own standard of good and bad, right and wrong.
We do our best so we think, and we all feel things, see things and understand things a bit differently in our minds. So with all that to be said, we are pretty much doomed. However when Doomsday comes with that person or that relationship, what we decide NEXT is the key to the entire situation.
What do we do? Do we forgive? Do we play the tit for tat game, where we come back at them for what they did to us? Do we forgive and walk our separate ways?
Do we hold a grudge for eternity? Are we willing to sit down and talk about it? Do we self-deprecate and let our emotions fuel our decisions leading us further in a pit of depression or pain?
What you do next. .. .. is … the answer to the problem.
I am not good at this… I will be the first to blow up and try to rip off heads, and watch someone hurt like they made me.. My first irrational response is … “screw ‘em.. Let ‘em drown. I’m done with ‘em. No one does that to me anymore……I guess we aren’t friends anymore…..I’ll never forgive you for this truly”
But that isn’t the answer. The answer is in love. Forgiveness, and seeking a healthy resolution.
First part of this, is understanding people will fail you. People mess up, we make mistakes. God, if He came to me today with a list of mistakes I made in this past year.. I’m pretty sure I’d put a bullet in my head because of the immense amount of wrong I’ve done In my life. However thankfully God has an immense amount of grace for me and mercy. If anyone knows how messed up we are, it’s God. He created us, watches us, and so He sees that grace and forgiveness is crucial in a relationship.
So why don’t we?
I have to learn more about grace for others who fault me… If you love someone… you love them. You have grace for them. You accept their apologies and work together to make things right again. You make an effort to NOT HOLD THEIR WRONGS OVER THEIR HEADS.
And please don’t get me wrong, you aren’t going to be the only one forgiving and having grace. There will be days when you mess up in a relationship and are asking for forgiveness and grace. When you’ll be hoping and praying that they will not hold your mistakes over your head.
Relationships only fail when grace is non-existent. Grace is rooted in love. The only thing that keeps people from death in companionship is that exact love filled grace.