Somehow Saved.

I was 14 years old when I tried to commit suicide. I saw no point in living a life that was filled with pain and saddness. All of my friends at school had no idea about the depression I was in; to them I was still the hyper anoying girl that loved being the center of attention. That was just a show, something I thought would make other people happy. No one knew that there was something wrong. To be honest, I didn't think anyone really cared. That was why I was going to take my life after all. "Nobody would even care if you were gone," I'd tell my self every second of every day. "Would anyone even be fased by my death? Doubt it..." So I planed my death. I had a plan and I had even written a note to my closest friends and family telling them that the way things ended couldn't have been avoided; even if they knew I would have still gone throught with it. So, how am I writing this story over a year later? Honestly, I have no idea. I still sometimes wish I had gone through with it, but I am so happy that I didn't. I had no idea what I would have missed had i commited suicide. I guess the thing that kept me going is Gods grace. He obviously had a a larger plan for me other than to life 14 years and then likk my self. I never take a day forgranted now; even the bad ones have to have some important meaning, right? I've moved past the suicidal thoughts, but I know that I'll never be able to fully escape them. Its weird to think that I could have easily been dead right now. But for some unexplainable reason, I was saved.

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