screw up.

i single handedly ruined every relationship within my family. my parents (grandma and grampa) refuse to speak to my mother. my aunts have gotten in this..and its all my fault. i thought i was over cutting myself...but i deserve it. i ruin every single good thing around me. i sat outside smoking a cigarette thinking about cutting for at least thirty minutes. i came inside and started, and am not finished yet. i'm empty and lifeless. any happiness that i had is gone.