The Shine Of A Blade

Hi I am a 14 year old girl, and one day I had too mutch of people who think they can say anything to me. and I cried my self to death and at the same time I was angry so I picked up a knife and cut myself more than 23 cuts. when I was done and saw the many blood I started shaking and felt very cold and numb. I don't know why I did it? But I did, and this was very hard to keep to myself because it was to clear to see that I wasn't myself. I have sleepless nights because I keep feeling unwanted somehow. So I told 3 friends about it for support but I still feel like I don't have a special purpose in life?........................