Grace for me is all I need

The first time I ever saw pornography I was eight years old. My friend Katy and I were going through all of my brothers movies and saw a few that had naked girls on the front. We joked about it and were really curious. I revisited them and my addiction started there. At first I just blamed it on my curiosity but then I realized that if was more than that. I was lustful and distracted and felt dirty. My mother found some of my porn in my room but she didn't say anything. She just took it from me and gave it back to my brother. At the time I was relieved...but now I wish she would have said something.

My addiction became even more of a problem when I started going to church. I became a christian but I was still lustful and watching porn a few times a week. I was only a teenager but felt used and dirty like an old woman. I became very serious in my relationship with God and I have realized that ministry is my calling and I hope to work with churches and organizations. I am now a young adult and I have been in and out of my addiction. I have tried working with different organizations and even have accountability partners, but I need something more.

When I am away from society and my computer I don't have urges or lust. I have grace and God and I could care less about porn or the cheap feeling it gives me...but I live in the world and I just need someone to help me so I can live in this world and make it better.

I just believe that grace for me is all I need.

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