Just Who I Am.

You know, I didn't know I had a real problem until my eighth grade year. Was it normal to pull out patches of your hair at night? Was it normal to put scissors to your arm over and over again? I had a problem, I knew it. Fighting my troubling childhood memories became a daily chore. Everything would make me think of my father's drug abuse, and his affair with another woman. Plus the history of his drug abuse. The abandonment I still felt was crippling. I numbed my emotions with alcohol during my sophomore year. It was a rush that kept me "sane". The cutting became less of an issue when The Drink took over. When my boyfriend would break up with me, I'd take a shot. Bad grade on a test, drink half the bottle of vodka. Whatever it took. Eventually I began to ponder, when would I see the light? I was waiting for some kind of sign, ANYTHING to get me out of my grave i dug. I finally poured The Drink down the drain and basically said "fuck you" to that voice inside opposing the disposal of it.

My battle is still being fought, and now at 16 I have found out that I can be in control. This life is a test, and we are ALL going to pass. We just need some tutoring sometimes. I'm going to base my life around helping those who have suffered just like myself.
You're all beautiful, every.single.one of you.

God Bless.

If you feel trapped by your food addiction, there is hope and help available. Whether you struggle with binge eating or another eating disorder, find support at heartsupport.com.