Lost.

i'm a full blown addict. to pretty much everything people can be addicted to. i'm 19 years old and i have a 3 year old daughter. i'm addicted to sex. i've had about 20 sexual partners since my daughter was born. i'm addicted to alcohol. before i started college a year ago, i was drinking just about everyday, alone or with friends- it didn't matter. when school started, i tried to cut back to only drinking on the weekends, but that didn't last very long. soon i was drinking a lot during the week, going to class hungover or just not going at all. i started smoking pot when i was 13, right after my mom died and i moved to another state to live with my aunt. then i just moved right up the line to ecstasy, lsd, and eventually heroin and cocaine. after my girlfriend got pregnant, my aunt kicked me out of her house so i moved to new york city to live with a friend there. but he realized really quickly that i wasn't a good person to have around, so i ended up living in my car for 2 months. my addictions to drugs just got worse and worse during that time. i've tried quitting so many times. i've been in several recovery programs and tried rehab once but it never lasts long before i relapse. i've been lying to my family and closest friends for about a year, saying that i wasn't doing drugs anymore. until 4 months ago i stayed away from meth because i always heard that "meth kills" and "meth destroys families". and then my cousin got me to try it one time and i was totally hooked. i was shooting it up several times a day trying to maintain a steady high. 2 months ago, i tore a muscle in my shoulder and was prescribed oxycontin for the pain and got completely hooked on it. so i was shooting up meth and popping oxycontin. my girlfriend left me shortly after that, and i just got overwhelmed. i overdosed on the oxy and meth, and ended up in the hospital. i'm home now and working on breaking my addictions. it's the hardest thing in the world, but i've been clean for 15 days and counting. praise be to god.

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