my past is not my future...

At age 35 - i am alive, i solo parent 3 of the worlds most incredible daughters, i speak, i write, i run a charity that exists to come alongside women wanting a life change from addiction issues and/or the sex industry....why?

That woman used to be me.

Now i get the honour to come alongside the women that I used to be and tell them my story.
Tell them that freedom is possible.
Tell them that they are loved, valued and created with a purpose.
Show them a love they've never known before, the same love with which I've been loved back to life.

The love that found me in the pit of hell as a 24 year old woman in drug rehab.
The love that loved me there but loved me far too much to leave me there.
A love that looked at my 90 pound frame with my brown skin hanging off my bones and the hatred & anger in my heart that came out through every look of my eyes
A love that knew everything that there was to know about me and loved me anyway...a love that paved the way to the grace that set me free.

You see that messed up woman wasn't who I always was...

I had a regular upbringing and had dreams of making movies & going to Hollywood to change the world (and maybe i still will...), at age 16 I had the grades to get into University and someone offered me some pot.

I said "yes".

I got bored very quickly and that turned to acid trips, speed, pills, ecstasy, bad relationships, abortion, shallow friendships, dropping out of university...heroin.

I started a relationship with a heroin addict.
I was 18 years old.
Heroin nearly killed me.
I spent all my money, stole from family & friends, stole from my work, got busted...and had only one thing left to sell - my body.

And I did.
But nobody had told me that I would also be selling my soul.

Prostitution was the most soul-destroying & heart-breaking time of my life.

At age 24 I decided I needed to stop before it killed me.
I did.

There beginning the journey of freedom - with a chip on my shoulder, every second word a cuss word, violence & anger in every heartbeat I encountered a doctor who told me, "your problem is not drugs, your problem is you have a whole in your soul that only Jesus can fill"...I very colourfully told him what he could do with his Jesus...days later I entered a rehab program...run by Christians.
All they could do was love me - and I made their job as difficult as possible!

6 weeks later: with many arguments, threats to leave, anger outbursts and challenges I made a decision that would change my life forever - and the lives of anyone I encounter.

I dared God to take me.

Thankfully He had been waiting passionately and patiently for me my whole life.

That was August 15th 1999...

Now I hope to use my past to help change other peoples futures...

Now, my past is not my future and neither is yours!

Now I get it...I am loved, valued & created with a purpose and so are you!

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