Who I was, a scared, hurt teenage girl

15 years old. It all came down to one thing. I was scared and lost. My parents divorced twice my little sister passed away. My mom not totally in the picture and me not getting along with my father. I was struggling in school. I was losing a guy who really meant a lot to me. I knew people who were doing so why couldn't I? I started by using a sharp pencil but it wasn't enough. I needed more. I did it on my wrist a little. People could see I had to hide it. I started on my stomach. I was just not what I used to be. I was scared and hurt. I never felt like enough. I did it constantly on my stomach. I told the guy. He just got mad and left me said he wouldn't put up with it. I thought I really messed up and had to keep doing it. No one found out unless I told them.I kept going. I was 16 by the time I found someone who really wanted to help me. He became like my older brother. He did everything he could to encourage me. I luckily was able to stop 4 months after I turned 16. I stopped for so long and since may I have only done a form of it 3 times. I am not proud that I did it but proud that it has been that little. I got help. My story may not be as heart breaking as others I wish I could tell you exactly how it feels, what I felt but I never can. Just know there is so much more. I do still struggle with it but I know where to get help and that it is possible. The scars on my stomach are horrid and will never go away. Please let yourself get help. Even for that year and a half it was horrible. Heartbreaking to everyone around me. I am thankful I got help and I hope you can too