Who's got 20 to throw in?

I am currently in a situation that i know is wrong, but it is so good.

I have a major problem with drugs, almost everything except meth, at least not yet, but in my life you never know when that could change, i've done everything, pot, shrooms, lsd, crack, heroin, coke, dmt, opium, X, Mollie, you name it, i've probably done it, i don't steal from people, yet, but i know my life is on a downward spiral, it began many years ago, but it has just gotten worst the past 6 months, i had a good job for a year and a half, but once all this started i lost it because of staying up all night, chasing a buzz, sitting there in the middle of the night trying to get extra money so we could go get another sack of coke, or a little extra so we could go get a hubba(crack), or sitting on the couch tripping off 10 hits of lsd, staring into the oblivion, wondering what i will ever do with my life, i live in a house where drug use is a constant thing, an everyday event, i moved out when i was 18, and left everybody that cared about me behind, just to live this life that has no meaning, dropped out of school to chase this buzz, i have lived a rough life, from the day i was born, and it just seems like every time i do it it makes my troubles go away, until i look back the next day and think, and wonder why i did it? and then i know that i'm always going to do it again, thats not going to change unless i make a drastic change in my life, nothing will change, ever, i need a wake up call, but i don't know that anything will do that, i've already woken up in the gutter in memphis with a needle sticking out of my arm, and that didn't do anything, so what will it take? is death the only option? i guess only time will tell!

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