What is heartsupport?
Heart Support is a non-profit organization built on a foundation of faith; one that desires to strengthen the youth of today. An online community built to encourage, inspire and bring a message of hope. A place for the youth to talk about struggles and difficult issues and to find healing and strength in this community.
Our ultimate vision is to have a team of young adults who are equipped in counseling youth and to be used as a tool in prevention and mentoring others.
Jacob Luhrs - jake@heartsupport.com
I was raised in a non-Christian family, and this is my story of how God found me. My parents divorced when I was at a very young age. My father moved to Virginia where his parents lived, and my mother, sister and I staying in South Carolina. We moved from our beautiful home in Greenville, SC to the government aid housing in the same area. We lived there for a year and a half, then settled in Columbia, SC where I grew up most of my life. Transitioning from government aid housing into a location with great schooling and a different lifestyle all around was difficult for me. Because I didn’t have many friends and was struggling to find a place, I held onto my sister for dear life to have someone to connect with. Both of my parents at this time remarried and I lived with my mother, sister, and now my step father. Having step parents is a very difficult thing to understand and deal with at such a young age. Now however I understand much more and love both of them dearly.
Moving from the “ghetto” to a neighborhood in Columbia caused me to grew through the ghetto lifestyle and into the punk rock scene. By going to shows at the age of 16 I had my first encounter with what I believe to be my first true “desire.” To be in a band, and play music, to express my pain, angst, and love through music alone. I started my first band with some friends called “Smash Adams.” Practicing in my mothers house above the garage and playing small shows around town, VFW halls, and at our high school. I then moved onto a band called “Last To Know”, playing with them brought more experience, but the band that really set me in my ways and pursuit was “She Walks In Beauty.” At this time I was about 18 or 19 years old. It was your typical metalcore band yet reaching heights in our local scene and playing shows outside of my state made me believe it was just the beginning, or so I thought. I would work two jobs during the summers so that I could afford merch to sell at my sell at our shows. My Popa gave me a check to record our first demo. I was truly seeing my dream come true. I was making a name for myself and doing what I always wanted. Unfortunately, I also dove head first into drinking, partying, lustful acts and experimenting with certain drugs. I ended up moving out of my mothers house and into a house with 4 dogs and 3 roommates. My room was the size of a closet! I went to a technical college but dropped out using the excuse that “it took up too much of my time.” I sold my Nissan Maxima for a cargo van so I could actually have a “touring” vehicle for out of state shows.
I decided later on to take two classes at the technical college, one being Introduction into Audio Engineering and the other in Music Business. During that time, my band fell apart at the seams. Some of my guys wouldn’t even show up for practice; one quit and the other one would always show up drunk. I saw my dreams and passions falling apart, thus making me extremely depressed. I started going to the practice sheds on a nightly basis, watching other bands practice while I drowned my sorrows in any bottle of alcohol I could get my hands on. At this time I was living with my friends and working for a handyman, waking up between 4-5 a.m. to work until 5 p.m. four days a week. I’d come home to more drinking and partying. I hit a dead end in my life. I was sleeping around with girls and dipping my hands in drugs occasionally. I also had a close family member who struggled with heroin at the time, and that alone was a huge trial and brought me much pain. I have personally never dealt with heroin or cocaine, but seeing it first hand and how it was affecting my family member was a huge issue in my life. By the age of 19, I was struggling with so many things. Not being loved by my family, lost in drugs, alcohol and girls. I had no where to go and no one to reach out to. I started to feel worthless and hollow. I began to think of committing suicide. I thought of leaving all of this crap behind. At the time, I figured where ever I was going to go had to be better than the place I was in! I remember sitting in my seat in class with my head down crying in despair, and asking God WHY!
Then the day came that completely changed my life. I was working on a house with my boss one morning and decided to go outside for a cigarette. I talked to the Lord and told him “God, if you are real, if your son Jesus Christ is truly real, then show me! I don’t want my life, and if you want it you can have it, but if not then I’m going to kill myself…” I instantly felt an enormous flow of love in my soul. I couldn’t stop smiling! I was still in the same place, with the same struggles, working at LOVED! I was no longer ALONE! I felt someone cared! That someone was God! I then took on a whole new life that God had given me. He was there to help me, to show me the way, to bring understanding to this mess I had called life. I was the happiest man on earth that day. I truly didn’t have to kill myself or live like this any longer. God was there to show me the way out and to live a filled life! That night I started to pray to him and think of ways I could work on who I was and where I was. I started reading the bible and looking at myself in a whole new light.
A few months later I got the opportunity to be a member of an amazing metal band called August Burns Red, which I have been a member of for more than 4 and 1/2 years! I tour the world and consistently build my life with Christ as my cornerstone. Recently God has put on my heart to reach out to other people and to tell them of God’s love for us! It is an honor for me to do so, thus I decided to start YourLife Ministries. I appreciate your time and reading my testimony. There are some things I did not explain through great detail but if you’d like to know more about particular things in my life, feel free to contact me on the “Ask Us” link. Their are too many stories of my life, and if I were to try and type them all out, I think i’d be able to write a book or two! Thanks again and God Bless!
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ”. ~ Ephesians 3:17-18
Sincerely,
Jacob Luhrs
Kris Luhrs - kris@heartsupport.com
I spent the earliest years of my life raised in a small, quaint town in Connecticut. I’d say I had a very normal upbringing until my parents decided to divorce when I was seven years old. Life as I knew it drastically changed. My mother decided it was best for us (my two little sisters and I) to move closer to her family. We packed quickly and headed to a very wealthy, pretentious town where our extended family resided. My mother took nothing with her except us and our bedroom furniture. I can recall the next years of my life being spent at various family members houses. A few months at my grandmothers, a few months at my aunts, etc. My mother had the sole responsibility of taking care of three children that were 8, 4 and 2 years old at the time, thus making it nearly impossible to work. An easy, carefree life had transitioned into a shameful one full of hand-me-downs and just getting by. The financial hardships we faced, combined with the unrealistic lifestyle of the town we lived in, made for a very difficult adjustment. Despite trying times, my mother has this incredible way of keeping a positive attitude, a heart of gratitude and remaining in good spirits. My mom had an old family friend from named Todd who took the initiative to help her in the best way he could. He had always been in love with her but waited two years post divorce to even pursue her. He helped support us and made enormous personal sacrifices for our benefit. They married when I was twelve and things started to level out. He was a saving grace to us and a wonderful addition to the family.
My teenage years held entirely different and devastating trials. I was abused from twelve to eighteen by a close family member. It wasn’t frequent, but traumatic nonetheless. It reopened the floodgates of shame in my life. I began to withdraw, lost interest in socializing and kept to myself instead. My mom and step-father have always been shining examples of God’s love, and it was imperative to them for their girls to be rooted in faith. They encouraged us to be involved in the church youth group and activities. I had always believed in God, and can remember church being an active part of our lives, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him. At this point of my life, I was hurt and angry and that was the last thing I wanted to do. However, I chose to have an open mind about it and began to attend the youth group. This was my first introduction to “religion” in the worst sense of the word. I witnessed gossip, slander and judgement. It was an unloving group of young adults led by an unloving group of church leaders tied together with hypocrisy and arrogance. They resembled nothing like the Jesus they taught about, so I concluded the whole “Christianity” bit was a crock and lost interest.
During these years, I struggled with depression and found solace in alcohol and various drugs. I had a large group of friends, who were the furthest thing from friends, and the only thing we really had in common was a substance-filled lifestyle. I cared little for school or anything else, and put all my energy into fleeting things. My parents saw the path I was on and attempted to intervene shortly after I finished my sophomore year of high school. Their strategy was placing me in a prestigious, private Christian school. I secretly hoped that this school would help me to find God and point me in the right direction, but I still did not want to have to start over again. I went against my will, and quickly came to realize that the kids were wealthier, the substances more accessible and the ability to not get caught was much easier. The hope I had in this school dissipated when I discovered that they were even more “religious” then the youth group I had experienced. The teachers that were true followers of Christ could be counted on one hand and the rest were caught up in rules, regimens and abusing authority. I have yet to encounter a more Pharisaical place. This was the second institution representing God that had left me with a similar distaste and indignation. I tragically began to conclude that this was the accurate concept of God and it was pushing me further away from any interest of Christianity. Every time I reached my hand out to God, I was greeted with these kinds of people and experiences, and I sunk into an even deeper depression.
When I was nineteen, life seemed to be cutting me a break. “Seemed” being the operative word. I was in college and had a great job. After years I had returned to my family’s church and was pleasantly surprised to see how different it was. They were accepting and loving, they made a consistent effort to cast out any qualities that brought detriment and focused on keeping God’s house a holy place. I began to attend regularly and build a relationship with God for the first time. I had never known how desperate God is to have a relationship with us until then. (Isaiah 1:18) Nevertheless, my relationship with God had a lot of ups and downs. I had a lot of new relationships in my life at the time, and God had some steep competition. I had built a foundation of wrong friendships; the wolves in sheep’s clothing kind of friendships. I had also found “the one”, and poured all of my time and energy into that relationship. The beginning was nice, but then the reality of the situation hit. It became two years of bondage; I found myself being slandered and betrayed. Any attempt to institute God’s laws into our relationship was refuted and my self-esteem was demolished by mean and accusing words. I remained silent about everything because I had a delusional loyalty towards him. I didn’t have the courage or self-worth to walk away, and so I found myself in this purgatory without any means of escape or redemption. It finally ended, and I was relieved because I was free of an unapologetic cycle of hurt.
A few months later, an old friend sought me out. I was in need of a friend at the time and had great expectations. The revived friendship was short lived due to manipulative intentions which led to betrayal. At this point, I had had enough. I held my peace and made a choice to enter into a time of solitude. More than anything, I had this all-encompassing longing to discover what God’s will was for my life. I was finished trying to find my own way, and the fall of others affecting my life was exhausting. I wanted to find my path again and not be deterred from it. I wanted to discover my desires and completely reestablish my life. It had been a long time since God had my undivided attention, and there was no one more deserving. So I cut out every person in my life, aside from immediate family, without warning or explanation. My solitude was composed of extremes. It included sobriety: not even one a sip of alcohol, and celibacy: not having even a simple conversation with the opposite sex, and of course, solitude: no communication with anyone. My solitude lasted for seven months. It began as one of the loneliest and confusing times and ended as the most rewarding. I learned who God was, developed an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit and birthed a new love for His Word. I learned the importance of forgiveness, and the inexpressible joy of healing. I learned more about myself and others than I could possibly learn in any school on earth. Understandably so; I had the best Teacher to ever exist. It was the best time in my life. God had opened the eyes of my heart and had given me an eternal view of everything. I didn’t want it to end.
During the last few days of my solitude, God reminded me of the importance of fellowship and how it is not good for man to be alone. I understood that God desired this intense time of solitude to be a season and not a permanent lifestyle. I obeyed and began to seek out fellowship and normalcy in my life again. I met Jacob immediately after my solitude. The next two years were a complete whirlwind. I was traveling non-stop, I was experiencing a whole new way of life that is "tour," and I was seeing places in the world I never thought I'd have the opportunity to see, all with this incredible man who had been dropped into my lap. Throughout the past two years, my family has grown closer than ever. My mom, dad, step-dad, sisters and I all have this crazy bond, and somehow the pains of divorce are completely foreign to us. There's simply nothing but love, as it should be. Jacob and I got married in September; it was the best day of my life. I look back, even as I read this back, and I'm in awe of the Lord's faithfulness. I had honored God with seven months of my life, and He has since blessed me with my husband, a renewed family, a new home, a ministry, divine opportunities, wonderful fellowship, and plans for hope and a future.
If you have any questions or share a similar story, head over to the “Ask Us” link and please feel free to contact me anytime.
“The Lord bless you and keep you.” Numbers 6:24
Chris Dudley- chrisd@heartsupport.com
When my friend Jake called me up and asked me what I thought about taking part in Heart Support, it really struck a chord with me. I've met so many people doing what I do, but so many times the conversation tends to stay on superficial topics such as music, movies etc. (Which I LOVE talking about by the way… haha) but the idea behind having a place to talk to people about real issues, answer peoples questions that maybe they don't feel comfortable talking to someone else about and in general having a deeper connection with the people that God has put in my life through doing the band is very exciting to me.
Now, I didn't grow up in church. I pretty much hated going to be completely honest. When I was growing up, my mom was a christian and my dad was not. My mom went to church fairly regularly however I was never forced to go, which I was very thankful for at the time…. and looking back I'm completely thankful for now. My mom was a complete example to me of how to live a godly life and I couldn't be more thankful for that now, even if I didn't realize it then. She was the epitome of the saying "Preach the gospel and, if necessary, use words". As I got a little older, I did what all teenagers tend to do… I made a lot of mistakes. Did a lot of dumb stuff. I made the wrong choices of who to surround myself with, how to act, and, worst of all, how to treat people. However it was through these years that God slowly made himself known to me. I started hanging around a couple different friends that, in hindsight, had the love for me that God calls all of us to have for our neighbors and friends, but I had never experienced that in a friend before. My friends at the time were more about "helping" each other find drugs or lie to their parents about what they were doing. Through God putting these new people in my life and showing me his love through them, I saw that I could live my life in a different way. I could be truly happy…. And when I was 16 years old, I made the decision to give my life to Jesus and allow him to take over. I didn't go to an alter call at a church. I didn't have a baptism in front of a bunch of people (neither of which I think are bad by any means), but I was laying in bed one night and had my first real prayer to God. I told him that I wanted to live differently…. That I was done living my life MY way.. (it wasn't getting me anywhere)… That I accepted him as my Lord, and from that moment forward I was handing my life over to him to do his will. There wasn't an explosion, there wasn't a booming voice from the sky, but from that moment on I had a new friend who was always there for me. I started reading the bible, asking questions, and praying regularly (which was a VERY new thing for me). I saw a change in my life that I never expected and it was amazing. I had a desire to truly LOVE people. I knew I was on my way to a better life and very thankful for that. About 6 months later, one of my friends from school asked if I wanted to play keyboards in his band and from that point on, God has been working in my life in ways I never expected and I couldn't be more thankful. My life has by no means been an easy breeze since Jesus entered it, but through him I've been able to get through those tough times and see how he's been able to use those times to shape me into who I am today. It's amazing looking back on my life how I can totally see the plan that God had when I was growing up NOT going to church. I needed to NEED God. I needed to DESIRE God…. and he knew that. I'm thankful for my friends that helped me see him in a real life way. I'm thankful for my mom for not forcing me to do something and "believe" something I didn't truly understand. But I'm thankful most of all for Jesus. For finding me, for allowing me to find him, and for being everything to me since that day.
Tim Collins - timc@heartsupport.com
I was born and raised in a suburb fifteen minutes from Hartford, Connecticut. My childhood was filled with warm memories and my beautiful mother raised our family to be extremely close. I attended an Episcopalian church with my family till I was about 14. I knew who Jesus was, but at this point I did not have a relationship with Him. My family decided to visit a friend’s church that was non-denominational; I did not like it at all. People had their hands in the air and were singing upbeat songs. There weren’t even any pews, only seats. I didn’t even give it a chance and labeled it as a cult. This was right around the time when my life took a dark turn.
I began using drugs at the age of 14 and went on a binge of drugs and alcohol for a little over 10 years. During my teenage years, I began to experience severe depression, anxiety, anger, self-hatred, and a general disdain for life. I began to rebel against authority and was constantly getting suspended from school. Fights with my family increased as I carried an attitude that said, “I hate everyone.” I thought I had all the answers and dropped out of school at 16. I returned the following year only to be expelled due to fighting other students and disrespecting staff. This whole time I hated myself, feeling that I was worth nothing, and doubted that I would ever amount to anything. My insecurities were taken out on others through rage. My relationships with women were busted, as I had a false sense of what love really was. My substance abuse continued – cocaine, angel dust, acid, ecstasy, special k, nitrous oxide, oxycontin, marijuana, alcohol. My drug of choice: more. I wanted to escape the way I felt and alter my consciousness. I began cutting myself to feel something other than what I was feeling emotionally and mentally. This mutilation continued with numerous piercings. The holes I put in my body were a release of the pain I felt inside. This downward spiral continued and I attempted suicide twice when I was in my early twenties. My violent and erratic outbursts bought me six charges and four arrests in a little over a year. In December of 2004, I was put on probation for 18 months and had a suspended sentence of 1 year in jail. I was at my bottom. I could not live like this anymore. Something needed to change or I feared I would end up in jail or dead.
Working with the court system, I enrolled in an intensive outpatient drug treatment program. On December 15, 2004, I made a decision to put down drugs and alcohol forever. I worked my program of recovery and before I knew it I was 2 years clean. It was a struggle and one of the hardest things I had ever done, but I did it. The thing that puzzled me was why did I still have depression, anxiety, anger, and busted relationships with women? Here I was, still broken but only now I was substance free. I had a great paying job as a driver for UPS, but I was still miserable. I was not passionate about delivering packages. I wanted to do something that mattered, like go to a third world country and dig ditches for clean water systems. This is when a close friend suggested I return to church.
Upon taking my friend’s advice, I went with my mom back to the church I had earlier deemed as a cult. During worship, I felt like I needed to cry my eyes out. God’s love was touching me in such a way that I felt accepted just the way I was. It was intense! When I went to leave, a guest worship leader talked to me and I did actually cry my eyes out. I was embarrassed being the pierced up, tattooed guy sobbing like a baby! The pastor encouraged me to keep coming to church and that everything was going to be alright. I took his advice and three months later I gave my life to Christ. Upon surrendering to Him, my life began to change radically. I loved learning more about God and loved worshipping Him. The first year after that I think I cried more than I ever had in my entire life. God was removing all the garbage that was inside from the years prior and making me anew. He was transforming me into who He created me to be. I began surrounding myself with like-minded Christians and my relationship with Jesus deepened. To know His heart more is what I desire.
I’m excited to say that in the past four years as a Christian, I’ve had little depression and my craving for substances has been completely removed! Over the past three years, I have been honored to serve as a youth leader at Merge Ahead, a powerful youth group at Church of the Living God in Manchester, CT. God has given me a heart to encourage and equip the youth to find their true identity in Christ and how to operate in their calling. I have also had the joy of serving on different weekends as associate staff at the New York School of Urban Ministry (NYSUM), in NYC. I have been trained to demonstrate to others how to minister and meet the needs of the homeless. The Lord has called me to work with people who share the same struggles as the ones in my past. I am currently working on an associate’s degree to be a Drug and Alcohol Recovery Counselor. My plan is to attain a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and then work towards a master’s to become a LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor).
I am excited to join Heart Support in it’s vision to counsel the youth in preventing addiction and standing with them through their struggles. I am blown away by all that God has done in my life and that even as a sinner, He loved me. I would be lost without Jesus. Be encouraged that if the Lord can use a wretched man like me, He can use anyone. All it takes is a little willingness and surrender.
Joe Musten - joem@heartsupport.com
After about the 15th time of trying to write this testimony up for Heart Support, I realized that I'm not good at this. It has consisted of me trying to write up some elaborate story about my past failings and God's victories in my life in order to convince you all that God is awesome and that He loves you. I know that to be absolutely true, but it still doesn't take away from my frustration. I started early this morning and haven't been able to put anything together, until now. Here it goes............ God loves you. You might say "So what? God loves me? I've heard that before". Well, I have to. I have heard that all of my life. From my parents. From my preacher. From my Sunday school teacher. From the random guy on TV that is wearing a $25000 watch, its all been said before. Our society has dumbed down the word "love" so much that I don't think we get it anymore. Sometimes I don't even feel like I get it. But that is just it. Rather than me trying to tell you about my life right now through a written testimony which would consist of a bunch of misspelled words and poor grammar, I will tell you this: GOD LOVES YOU. Right where you are. In your lies. In your guilt. In your pain. His love is right there. He is my testimony. I am a messed up guy that God sees fit to impact other people's lives. I don't understand it. Brokenness is my song and love is His. Somehow when He intertwined His song with mine it became something worth telling people about. Love always overcomes anything less than love. He is the only reason I have made it this far. The God that I can't see with my eyes is revealed to me in my heart. He is Love. He is my testimony.
Matthew Greiner - mattg@heartsupport.com
I’ve seen so much in 25 years. I’ve passed by good things to chase this one great dream of mine. They always said, “It’s all about the chase.” Well, maybe they’re right. But when the chase is over, I’ll know it’s on this road that I’ve found the God who has all along been chasing me.
I’d give nothing to get my younger years back. For all I’ve seen, for all I’ve felt, for all I’ve learned. I am found in Germany tonight and all the world can’t find me wishing I was somewhere else instead. With these little legs and calloused hands I’ve shown the world my gift. Matthew, “Gift Of God.” If all the world is my easel, then the stage is my canvas and these drum-sticks my brushes.
I grew up in a home that was safe. I knew about God as far back as I can remember. I knew what was wrong according to the Bible’s set of guidelines and I knew what was expected of me as a Christian boy in a Christian home. But there was an emptiness in the pit of my stomach that I wasn’t fully aware of until I was all alone in a hotel room in Finland in 2009.
It's not until you find yourself outside the bubble you're born into that you realize how big the world really is. You become aware of all of the souls who were discarded and never put back on the shelf. You find that at the end of the day, we're all just looking for genuine love, love that doesn't leave when the going gets hard. Love that says it's ok and picks you back up when all is lost.
I looked for love in pornography for 10 years. For a decade I lost myself in a world of fantasy, a world of selfishness, a world of pain. I knew getting out was the answer but I chose to stay. On August 6, 2010 at 8:32pm, I prayed with a friend on a rooftop in Connecticut and made the decision to be free of pornography, in Jesus’ name.
Pornography is wrong. It is a popular, powerful, painful, lifestyle that will never reward you joy. It will only steal from you, and keep on stealing. Over and over and over again.
Though only a small subject in the context of my ‘testimony,’ it’s this one thing that ruined my life…until I found redemption in Christ’s love. There is a road that leads home and many men better than me have walked right past it. But I won’t make that mistake; I’ve found love and oh how He loves. The bruises on my fists are the story of my return.
Matt
