<![CDATA[HeartSupport.com]]> http://www.heartsupport.com en-us Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:16:57 -0500 <![CDATA[.Emergency. ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/emergency.html

“GO” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you." Mark 10:53

 Emergency

  A few weeks before our wedding, Kris and I were relaxing and watching television. It was towards the end of the night, and we were getting ready for bed. As I sat up to adjust to the other side of the couch, I felt a pain in my chest -- a sharp, stabbing pain,  and I feared that I couldn’t breathe deeply because it felt something would tear. I sat there for a little while holding my chest and trying to take short breaths. Kris was concerned and convinced to take me to the emergency room at that moment. I hate hospitals, but I did agree it’s better to be safe than sorry. We loaded into the car once I felt I was able to get up and we we were off...

We didn’t have to wait long until I was in the room with the doctor explaining my pain and feelings of what had occurred. The doctor wanted to take a blood sample, X-ray and an EKG. I was terrified about the blood being drawn, and the doctor laughed at me considering I have two full sleeves and a chest piece. I went and got the x-ray and the blood drawn, then sat there with Kris and waited thirty minutes before I was told how my blood work came out. The doctor feared a blood clot in my lungs, and also wanted to make sure my heart was healthy. That thirty minute wait seemed like days; I feared that I had some major heart issues. I couldn’t remember the last time in my life that I had even been to a doctor. And, most people don’t know this but when you tour in a band for six years, you don’t usually get the healthiest meals. The first two years of touring was full of McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, you name it, we ate it...

In these circumstances, naturally I got to thinking to myself about how valuable life is. Here I am, in an emergency room with my future wife, thinking of all the things I have done to hurt my body, all of the things I had the choice of doing or not doing to keep my body in the condition it was in. I sat quietly and thought to myself, “I’m not in here because of someone else. I wasn’t here because of a car accident or something.” I thought of the smoking, drinking, all the fast food, the lack of exercise, the lack of a healthy lifestyle, all of these things that had accumulated over the years. Why? I decided to make the choice to feed my body those things. Why? Because of my flesh craving those things and not thinking of my body as a temple, or the life that God gave me. I didn’t think of what was most important, but I had craved the short-term satisfaction during all those years, and I made the decision. I had no one else to blame for this but myself, and to think that maybe my life could change in a huge way right now at this point...all of those things led to this one moment...

  It turns out that I have a healthy heart with a small, somewhat “normal” abnormality, the pain was within the wall of my chest, and I should stay away from caffeine. Phew! The moral of the story is...we have so many chances to do the right thing or to say no to things we know we enjoy but know could damage us. And not just our bodies, but our minds and our spirits too. All the little decisions we make in life add up, and they could bring destruction or success, joy or sadness in the end. It’s so important that we understand that the little things do count in all that we do. If we are doing all these little things to build up to our dreams coming true, they do and will pay off. However, the addictions you have in your life could very well end it sooner than later.

Think of everything you do in your life: the little things, and think of how they effect you and the people around you. I mean, what if I had a huge problem with my heart, and needed surgery, or couldn’t tour any longer, or left my wife and friends behind? Why? Because of the poor decisions I made in my life. Thank the Lord that He has given me health, and despite the fact that I have abused my body so much in the past years, that I can stand here today and write this. God gave us the gift of choice...let’s just try to make the right choices so that life, which is a blessing, turns not into a curse. This is beyond physical health, but your words, how you effect others, and what you put your energy towards daily.

Are you feeding yourself: mind, body, and spirit, fruit that is good? Or are you consuming bad fruit that will make you sick? feeding yourself and others bad fruit that will make you sick? When we are struggling, we absolutely have to feed ourselves good fruit and remember what we struggled through. Then we can learn from our past and gain wisdom through experiences to help others change for the better. Love yourself so that you may love others. Start in the little things in life.

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/emergency.html Thu, 02 Feb 2012 21:16:57 -0500 <![CDATA[Tuscon, AZ ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/tusconaz.html Tuscon, AZ 

Matt and I hit the YMCA in the morning .. we've been pretty lucky with no YMCA membership, they have given us days where they don't charge us to use their gym which is great! This YMCA was a little bit smaller than the norm but did the job! The great thing about it is some how we've been finding YMCA"s and other great gyms less than a mile down from the venue... so it's been really convenient this tour. 

After the gym, Kris and I walked around the town to see what Tuscon was all about.. we were excited to know their was a farmers market down the street... don't see many of those and Kris is a health kinda gal.. We didn't know the area but  we were starving and needed something to fill us... we walked into a small cigar shop and asked what was around... guess what we found? only the best sub shop EVER! 

 

 

Thats right... JIMMY JOHNS!!! Yeah BUDDY! 

Tuscon was a great day because our good friends in ItheBreather joined up on the tour. Morgan Wright is their drummer and I just have to say I love that dude.. Great guy, awesome drummer and we share the same beliefs.. This dude KILLS the drums!! 

 

We also decided to have a bible study on our bus! Me, Matt, Adam Grey, and Morgan Wright got to our back lounge and talked about some of the scripture in Psalms. and proverbs.. We didn't really have anything put together seeing as it was the first day with Morgan but it was great to read some psalms and really open up to one another in prayer. It's really amazing how similar we all are and how Christ shows us His love through others.. we also talked about how having accountability is really crucial on the road. We are wanting to have these daily.

After that we rocked the show! The only gripe I had was how far away the stage was from the crowd... the energy is really hard to feel when they are so far away. I was a little bummed out when we opened the set and the first scream I took... i realized I couldn't hear... the mic had gone out and was not picking up my voice.. however seeing the crowd singing the part as I was in frustration... haha.. they did a pretty good job! 

Thanks Tuscon, AZ!!! 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/tusconaz.html Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:43:30 -0500 <![CDATA[Watch out Hell.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/watchouthell.html If you have a steady walk with Christ, you probably already know or should know that if there is a God, there is also the devil. Yes, the devil, we don't like to talk about him too much on sunday mornings. We don't aknowlege him like we do our Savior, but we obviously we must know that he is there, trying his hardest to bring us off of our Saviors path. He can't hurt the Father, so he tries to hurt his children. Now if you are aware of the battle in our minds and flesh, you may know of protecting yourself with God's armor, with his word, and with his blood. We know that our God is greater than this enemy, stronger than this oppising force. It seems we all have that little subtle voice nagging at us, saying things like "it's okay to look at a little bit of pornography today, you've been good, go ahead have sex with your girlfriend, you've been premarital sex free for months. Go ahead cheat a little, lie a little, get angry at that person, theyre not acting right towards you." Do these thoughts sound familiar? They mostly likely will to any Christian, but like I said we know that our God is greater, our God is stronger and he can teach us to live by his Spirit rather than our flesh. It is a great practice to ask God to teach you to live by his Spirit, to be hungry for his Spirit, rather than lust, anger, and things of that nature. So, we can live clean no matter what those thoughts say, we live by the Word of God and not those nagging thoughts that ARE the enemy trying to convince you to leave God's path. Learning these defenses from God and his Word are great practices, but there is more! Here's the thing, in this whole act of taking defense and putting up that shield of faith, it seems to me that we get comfortable just taking shots. Whether we be blocking them or not, were taking shots. Constantly playing defense rather than some offense. How many of you know it takes offense and defense to win the game? We as Christians need to always learn to fire back. We don't have to let our loved ones be victims of depression, anger, lust or just being lost in general. As Christians we are not just called to sit around and take shots, but we are here to take authority! Matthew 10:8 "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give." These are words given from Jesus to the disciples. We are Jesus' disciples, we follow this! We do this!This is our duty as Christians! If you are reading this and you have felt that all you do is take shots from the enemy, all you do is play defense, try to be "good" for God; you're made for even MORE than that! You are made to serve and to worship, you are not the devil's item, you are a son or daughter of the living God Almighty! You were made to shine. So get up it you're curdeled over in the corner, blocking those flaming arrows, and get up with your shield and fight! You have a shield of faith, the bible says. You also according to the word in Ephisians have a sword; the Sword of the Spirit. Ask God to teach you to wield this weapon. It is sharper than any double edged sword. When you speak it, life begins, when you speak it, the sick are healed, the broken souls of our generation are made new. Stay on God's path, yes, take up your shield of faith, yes, but don't forget to also take up your sword. The greatest strategy of spiritual warfare is to love your neighbor as yourself, and to use prayer and faith to tear down walls built up around you and others. Remember, no sickness is too bad for God to heal, no man is too blind, no man is too deaf, or too mute or too crippled. No home is too broken for God to repair, no soul is too torn for God to mend. We are children and soldiers of a living God! Today you tell the enemy, we come in the name of "Jesus," and we come to preach the word, to drive out demons and too heal the sick. Watch out Hell, we are an army built by God.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/watchouthell.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:33:36 -0500 <![CDATA[For anyone who has been in the dark.. you can make it out into the light]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/substancesstories/foranyonewhohasbeeninthedarkyoucanmakeitoutintothelight.html I know how much people on Heart Support have been struggling with personal problems so I wanted to take this time to tell my story and let people know that, problems are apart of life and you can prevail through the darkness.

My life began in June of 1992. My mother gave birth to twins, my sister and I. We were each others best friends. We wore the same outfits and had a very special connection. This all changed on the night of June 17, 1994. On our way home from Toys R Us, a drunk driver did not stop at a stop sign and smashed into our car. The damage was terrible. I do not remember the accident because I was 1 years old and suffered a concussion from it. My mother, brother, and myself escaped from the accident. However, my beautiful twin sister did not. God came calling for a special angel on June 18th and carried my sister to the heavens where her spirit is there always looking over me. If this story can make people think twice about getting into a car under the influence, it could save your life or someone elses life.

This unfortunate story only continued on as I grew up. I grew up a normal life after my sisters death even though it has been extremely difficult. The accident tore my parents hearts. They never were the same after her death. Around the time I was starting high school they announced to my two adopted sisters and my brother that they were getting a seperation. I didn't know how to feel knowing that my parents would not be living together anymore. Depression really came full force into my life around this point. I didn't know how to cope with the situation and became very sad. A divorce became official two years later which lead to me moving out of the house I grew up in. The whole process tore me apart inside. It killed to see my parents apart when I wanted them both together again. My thoughts of depression soon worsened. Sometimes I would just think, is life even worth living anymore? If I left would this bring my parents back together again? It was a constant battle with these thoughts in high school. I was in a very dark place and seemed like there was no way out. Then there came a point where I wanted nothing to do with my life, I wanted to end it. I wanted to be with my sister again in the heavens. One night, I got into a huge argument with my mother which sent me over the edge. The only thing that crossed my mind that night was that "I'm going to take my life, I cannot be here anymore." I reached the limit of darkness in my life and thought there was no way of ever getting out of it. I didn't even care what my friends and family would have thought if I took my own life I was that depressed. That night, I built a make shift noose and decided that I was going to hang myself. I hung the noose up, put my head through it and said goodbye world. I was hanging there for a few seconds when the noose broke. I fell down and starting crying my eyes out. Then I was overcome with this feeling that I was not meant to leave this world so soon. I had a full life ahead of myself. I vowed from that point on to never try an attempt on my life again. I became closer with God and my friends were a big reason I got through that rough point in my life. I stayed positive from that point on and went on and graduated high school that year while knowing that my sister was with me in spirit when I received that diploma.

My life has continued to wonderful since I came out of the darkness. I moved to Florida to enjoy the beautiful weather and work on my college degree in hopes of becoming a teacher one day so I can make an impact on children's lives and futures. I write this today because I have went through so many struggles in my life and am 100% sure that anyone who is reading this can prevail too. Surround yourself with great friends and God. I do not think I would have been here today if it was not for my awesome friends. God has been there the entire time and I am so blessed to have him in my life. Take care everyone and God Bless!

Thank you so much Jake, Matt and everyone who has put this website together. It really is an amazing thing you have done!

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/substancesstories/foranyonewhohasbeeninthedarkyoucanmakeitoutintothelight.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:32:16 -0500 <![CDATA[What means more?]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/whatmeansmore.html I'm just a 19 year old kid with diabetes trying to live my life. It has had its challenges and has been hard for the past year. I've been homeless for the past year. Staying from place to place, couch to couch, or sleeping in my vehicle is no life for a 19 year old. I'm on my own because I didn't realize that life is hard. I grew up with a house and food on the table and never really had to work for anything. Due to my hard-headedness and lack of respect for my mothers wishes, I decided I'd move out and be on my own. Now I don't have a place to stay. I wish everyday I could take back the things I did wrong and fix everything. As of last week, I started doing that. I started going to church with a good friend of mine. Through prayer and time with my youth group I am finding out that having faith and God in my life can make even the worst of days be better. So I ask you what means more? Trying to do things on your own or giving it all up and being on fire for God?

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/whatmeansmore.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:31:13 -0500 <![CDATA[diserment or leting go.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/disermentorletinggo.html I spent almost two years with a girl. recently admitted she had cheated and is moving on. its been a month and because of the soul knots I made with her I simply have not been able to move on. Ive cried out for help turned to anything to numb the thoughts of what happened. her current "boyfriend" has been tormenting me with words I cant repeat. and Im left with no answers. I have never been in such a hole, Ive had some people pray for me. But this has been a tail spin with very dim light at the end of this tunnel. I can blame myself for all of this, and hopefluuy one day God can bring glory out of this. I was hooked up with a non/week believer. (out of Mormonism) I gave her more than just every spoiling possession but all of myself. Things I cant take back that I was pulling my hair out to point her to Jesus and Love the whole time. For anyone out there dating someone thats not sold out for Jesus first let this be a lesson to run. I did everything and still continue to pray for her to accept salvation if she hasnt. but you cant be someones savior. not only being rejected but left with unanswered questions. Its been a such a struggle to walk on and shut that door. I hold to much forgiveness and hope for her and she simply doesn't want anything to do with it. more than anything I need to restore my vision and future hope. and take captive the tormenting thoughts. I wish my burden upon no one else. and this has really leveled me being disobedient even for a greater cause.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/disermentorletinggo.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:30:44 -0500 <![CDATA[Our path is set. Our love is tested. ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/ourpathissetourloveistested.html I've fallen hard. Good and bad. i lost my self and slowly drifted from where im suppose to be headed. Lost for eleven years God brings an angel into my life but where I can't reach her. I love her with all my heart and I know God brought her to me to bring me back to his grace. Everytime i speak to her i feel closer to my Father. Where miles apart and sometimes can't speak. Temptation hits me hard. The enemy knows loneliness is my weakness. Iv been alone my whole life. I just need strength for living and for my future and to stay on the path. If this makes any sense id appreciate any words of wisdom.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/ourpathissetourloveistested.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:30:06 -0500 <![CDATA[Mattie Montgomery from FOR TODAY.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/mattiemontgomeryfromfortoday.html   

Mattie Montgomery explains how he became the singer of the band For Today, and how he has come from Soccer player to Jesus follower. He tells us how his goal isn't to be a rockstar, but to walk perfectly align in God's path for his life. 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/mattiemontgomeryfromfortoday.html Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:02:21 -0500 <![CDATA[Austin, TX ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/austintx.html We played at Emo's today in Austin TX... one of the more fun shows and the room filled up quite fast. JB, Mason and I went to Pizza Hut for lunch .. then I read the bible and tried to relax my voice.. 15 songs has been a bit of a struggle this past few days but I have confidence that it will be back up to par by tomorrow. New tattoo is doing well... the swelling went down. 

I've been having issues with my right shin because I usually always put my weight on it.. so today I put some icey hot on it around 12pm .. tried my best to stretch it out however tonight when we were on stage... my leg felt a crazy burn the entire set. It wasn't pleasant trying to scream while my leg felt like it was on fire! haha 

 

After the show Matt and I hung out with kids at the Heart Support merch table... signing autographs, taking pictures and meeting up with some of you guys! Ben Sledge a man who has done a guest blog on Heart Support, his blog called "masculinity" was there. A great guest blog, Ben and I discussed him doing some more blogs and being more involved in the community! His wife will also be doing a blog for women for Heart Support. I feel it's very important to have women posting guest blogs as well as their are women on Heart Support which see, think, and feel a lot different then us men

. 

 

Quite a few people thanked me for standing up for Christ on stage and saying they have a spiritual connection during our shows... it not only brings me a better understanding that God is working through ABR but also that they see Christ and not me on stage. It's truly a blessing to hear this. Austin...  i ate pizza twice today... pizza hut AND CiCi's ... was really unhealthy, however meeting you guys... was the best part of my night. Thanks for supporting ABR and the HEART. God Bless you guys! I want more people to talk to at the merch table... I want more real stories, I want more prayers, and I want a stronger connection with you all. 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/austintx.html Sun, 29 Jan 2012 03:56:24 -0500 <![CDATA[MATTHEW 14:22-32]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/matthew142232.html                                   Matthew 14:22-32 

This passage speaks about Jesus walking on water, while Peter and the other disciples were on a boat….They cried out that Jesus was a ghost but then realized it was Christ. Peter answered him “lord is it  you, command me to come to you on the water”. He said “Come” so Peter got out of the boat and went to Christ..

But when Peter saw the wind coming towards him he became afraid! He cried out to Jesus saying “Lord, save me” Jesus took out his hand and grabbed Peter saying “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”.

 

I read this passage and prayed on it and I feel for myself that I look at Peter.. a man who doubted Jesus.. who said to Christ I won’t go out and walk on the water until you tell me to. So here is Jesus out on water, and Peter in a boat, a man made boat in the water. Peter is obedient to Jesus giving him the command to come to Him. So Peter is obedient and goes to Jesus, then Peter notices WIND coming towards him, and he gets scared. So he asks Jesus to save him… I look at this and see that WE as followers of Christ NEED to be obedient to Jesus' command for us to walk on water with Him.. and when the wind comes and we get scared not to have little doubt in Jesus. As Jesus saved Peter from the wind when they were on the water, so Jesus will save YOU when you are walking on the water and the wind is coming.

 

There are tons of times where we are obedient to Christ telling us to do something.. and once the wind (problems) start to occur we get frightened or scared and begin to doubt Christ. I’ll be honest… we have to stay strong in our faith in Christ.

We also know that in doubting God we are prolonging the plans and path He has for our lives. 
The wind in our lives is nothing compared to Jesus' love and strength.  

 

 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/matthew142232.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 16:31:38 -0500 <![CDATA[Dallas, TX]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/dallastx.html Met up with my tattoo artist Tod Bain, great friend of ABR and AILD. I originally met him from the band Destroy the Runner.. old Solid State band that I grew very close to. That was 4 years ago.. he has a beautiful family and is an AMAZING tattoo artist.. So him and I have been working on my arm for close to a year now.. we've put in a total of 17 hours in on my arm.. absolutely crazy! We STILL have some more work to do but it's coming along. .. Tod Bain at 1st Revelation tattoo! A studio not to far from Dallas. www.myspace.com/1strevelationtattoo

Me and Tod Bain with our teeth out! 

After getting tattooed for 4 hours we had a bible study on the bus. With Matt, Adam Grey, Tod and his family and some of Matt's friends... We talked  about how God can show Himself to us through various ways, not just from hearing His voice, but using people, places, ideas, thoughts, signs, sounds, etc to reveal Himself in our lives! It was really great to hear testimonies from everyone telling their stories of meeting God and seeing Him work in their lives. Thanks to all who were a part of our bible study! 

Matt and Adam studying scripture in bible study. 

The show at House of Blues was great! Great fans, great security and staff there. It was a smooth ride, however my throat was feeling a little sore and after being tattooed for 4 hours towards the end of the set I was feeling a little hurt. haha So today i'm going to relax my voice and rest.. my arm is extremely swollen.. oh yea.. i should show you guys the finished product. Check it !!! 


]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/dallastx.html Sat, 28 Jan 2012 14:25:16 -0500 <![CDATA[Oklahoma City, Oklahoma ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/oklahomacityoklahoma.html Woke up to realize we were in the middle of nowhere... We ended up walking a mile and a half to a mall which ended up being a complete bust! Apparently a few years back two gangs got into a shoot out in the middle of the mall.. so their are only really 5 stores open in that mall now... what a bummer that gangs ruined an entire mall..  We walked out to the parking lot and we saw a mall security vehicle with someone in it... as we walked closer we realized it was a blow up doll... WHAT!!! ha people aren't crows.. i don't understand how that is suppose to help. 

 

After the mall we caught a cab to the gym down the street. I'll tell you that the gym has kept my moral up on this tour. Gotta workout! haha 

We also got a new t shirt design on tour! Really appreciate our friend Ashley designing our merch for us! For the Good is her company with her husband Shawn. Great people! Thanks guys! 

We played a huge building out in the middle of nowhere and sold it out at 11oo peole. It was one of the hotter shows we've played on this tour. Great kids and after the show we all hung out at the Heart Support table. I ended up praying over a guy who has a particular health issue.. I believe in prayer and know that the Lord hears them. I feel honored to even have some of you coming up asking me to pray for you. Hung out with my buddy Jakob who I met at the Mars Hill conference in Seattle. He is an amazing kid and I really enjoyed hearing about how you've been overcoming some of your struggles bro. God is good and when we honor Him, He honors us. Keep giving those issues to Him brother and He will restore you and rebuild you.

P.S. Elton I prayed for you after the show my man. 

God is good! 

Today I'm getting tattooed by my buddy Tod Bain in Dallas! 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/oklahomacityoklahoma.html Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:55:53 -0500 <![CDATA[Houston, TX]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/houstontx.html So yesterday we had an off day which was well needed! I got to talk on the phone with a Pastor I really look up to name Dr. Mike Brown, I had a bible study, studying Matthew and the time where Jesus and Peter walked on water.. 

I worked a lot on Heart Support and connecting with family and friends on the phone. It was a much needed day off, but today was really packed!

I woke up and went to the gym with Dustin, Matt and Brandon and Dustin and I worked out together. That guy is all about lifting and pushing the limits with his weight lifting. I learned quite a lot from him and am excited to workout with him again! 

After that Matt and I went to a Houston Rockets game! They were playing Milwaukee Bucks... I've never been to an NBA game before so it was a really cool experience! Matt and I cheered for the Rockets, however I don' t think they won... 

 

 

After rocking the stage at the House of Blues, I went to the merch area and hung out with the kids. One kid asked me to pray for his band because tomorrow they are recording songs in the studio.

Another kid wrote me a letter.. The letter came from a kid named Matt Rochard... 

I can't get into the details of the letter but it was very heart felt and I'd love to talk more with you Matt. You aren't just some normal kid.. their is no such thing, and I respect you writing me a letter. I like that. I will be emailing you. 

I also met a father with his son and his friend who prayed over me tonight for being a follower of Christ and praying that I stay strong with the Lord.. as he was praying over me... i really realized how important prayer is and that because of so many people praying for me for certain things I believe it has truly benefited my life in guidance and understanding AND in speaking things over my life through Christ.. Pretty amazing.. Never thought I'd have church and play a show in and at the same place. 

I spent an hour and 20 minutes at the merch table tonight with kids.. I was exhausted from playing 15 songs... but it was worth every minute because of the way these kids have influenced me and how i've been able to have God use me to inspire them... it's a relationship that is worth so much in my eyes.

Thanks fans, friends, and family... God Bless. 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/houstontx.html Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:13:56 -0500 <![CDATA[Jeremy from A DAY TO REMEMBER.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/jeremyfromadaytoremember.html  

Jeremy McKinnon is the singer for A Day To Remember, he speaks with Jake Luhrs about being a touring musician and what he had to do to get to where he is today. That we need to focus on our goals to make our dreams become a reality. We can all live out our dreams. Very inspiring! 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/jeremyfromadaytoremember.html Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:56:35 -0500 <![CDATA[Addicted.. to empty words.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/addictedtoemptywords3.html

When people speak of addiction, I tend to automatically think of a substance. I’ve never been a drinker, smoker,or anything of that sort, but for me things like food tend to come into play a lot more (You don’t maintain a physique like mine without hearty doses of ice cream, chocolate and other horrible concoctions). However, over the past couple weeks I’ve been fasting and what God has been showing me through that, most of all, has been my addiction to words. Empty words, negative words, words that seem to be spoken for the sake of speaking them. I think that we all have unnecessary and/or negative words from time to time, but I’m just being shown mine in a huge way right now. The bible speaks about the tongue in a way it speaks of nothing else. The power we wield so listlessly in the words we say (or don’t say) is more apparent than ever when you actually start paying attention on a regular basis.

I recently started praying the prayer found in Psalm 141:3. In this verse David says “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips”. Now, I’ve never been much of a gossipy person. I tend to shy away from those types of conversations as often as possible, (yet still falling into the trap from time to time) but what God has shown me is that even if I’m not gossiping or speaking ill of someone, does that mean that my words are being helpful? Are they encouraging? Do they even need to be spoken? These questions have been in the forefront of my mind and prayer life lately and I’d encourage you to ask God to help you do the same!

Our words and how we choose to use them are one of the most powerful things that God has equipped us with for this life. That being said, our words can also inflict more harm and do more evil than we realize sometimes. For me, praying that God would just keep me mindful of what I’m about to say and help me be discerning has been huge. I pray that you are able to benefit from that prayer as well. Be mindful. Lift someone up with your words today. Make someone smile! God will be smiling down on you.

Have any questions? Comments? Shoot me an email and we’ll chat!

Chris Dudley.

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/addictedtoemptywords3.html Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:13:39 -0500 <![CDATA[Tampa, FL]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/tampafl.html  

So I started out Tampa with a broken iPhone again... Super bummed on the iphone lately. This is my second one in a year... the phone is the only real way i get to communicate with my wife and family so it's kind of urgent that this got worked out. 

But first thing is first! THE GYM!! It's been a while since i've been to the gym, but man it feels good to work out and get my body in shape.. No one likes going to the gym, but once you get in there and you start to sweat things out you start to feel good! I need that as a moral boost so the gym will be a regular thing for me on this tour. 

The Ritz venue was SICK!! I love playing there, the stage is a great size and the crowd was pumped! 15 songs is so looooongg but I'll be honest its a blast.. Matt and I worshiped God on stage together that night and it's really great to have our time of worship on stage. 

  ABR and the Crowd rockin the house! 

I also got the chance to meet up with my buddy Ben who has been a huge fan of ABR for a while and a member of the Heart's community! I had the honor to interview him about some of the things he has been able to overcome and how Heart Support has helped encourage him! Him and his friend Christie came out and also taught me a thing or two about how to operate my Canon T2i! haha I'm not savvy when it comes to technology so thanks Ben and Christie! 

 

 Also after the show Matt and I ran up to the Heart's merch table and met up with some awesome kids! One kid actually told me he wasn't really huge into religion but was getting baptized this weekend! We talked about the gift Jesus gave us which is the Holy Spirit and that the relationship we have with Jesus is precious and extremely personal. We discussed the trinity and how building that relationship takes patience, time, and prayer! He was really excited to talk about this new relationship but we were running out of time so I gave him a Heart Support postcard and told him to get connected with the community! Pretty awesome!! 

 

I did end up getting a new iphone FOR FREE! Thanks Dave from the Apple store! Jacksonville HERE WE COME! 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/tampafl.html Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:07:56 -0500 <![CDATA[Fort Lauderdale, FL]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/fortlauderdalefl.html I woke up to go to the gym with our videographer Brandon and Brent.. we walked a mile to the YMCA and worked out for about 30 minutes only to find out that they close within the hour.. so it was a bit upsetting... and hopefully I get to a gym tomorrow.. after that Matt and I had an interview with Skunkstv! A christian tv/radio station.. We talked about ABR and Heart Support and what we are trying to do with this community! Bringing encouragement to others and a message of hope and love.. that foundation being our relationship with Jesus. I gave my story of how I found Christ and what it's like to be a frontman of a Christian band in the metal industry. I'm excited to see how that comes out! Might see that on facebook.

After that I answered some questions on Heart Support and then got ready for the show! The show sold out and was packed to the brim of kids chanting, singing, and dancing! I really enjoy seeing people dance with us during Internal Cannon, really is a change from the norm at a show. 

After the show I went to the Heart Support table and talked with quite a few of you! 

Met one guy who says his aunt passed away and that Heart Support really has helped him through the healing process.. that our blogs are encouraging him and bringing him closer to God. That he has built a stronger relationship with God through Heart Support. That really makes me happy knowing that God is using Heart Support in so many lives.. it's the reason why we do this. 

I then met a guy named Tyler, he is actually from Manheim where the band is based out of in PA. 

We talked about how sometimes we as Christians can be close minded... not being patient or willing to want to hear others out.. cuts us short of learning from others... that when we think we are right and we judge or write someone off can be the worst thing we can do... because we have a lack of patience or we aren't willing or wanting to understand their point of view we then cut out our learning of something more! So the message I want to bring in this blog is ... listen... just be quiet and listen.. even when you think someone is wrong or you don't agree.. really listen because their is most likely something you can learn from the conversation that could highly benefit you or shed wisdom in a part of your life you didn't think you would gain from. 

Lets not judge, lets not block people out until we fully get the whole story or completely hear the message. 

Tonight I learned a lot from you guys... and it's always a blessing to hear what Heart Support has done for others. Thanks guys. Sorry for no pictures tonight.. a lot of them didn't come out very well. 

God Bless HS! 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/fortlauderdalefl.html Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:53:21 -0500 <![CDATA[Orlando, FL]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/orlandofl.html Orlando, FL

This was one of the most exciting days of tour! So much that I just wanted to post a ton of pics with captions... so here ya go HS! 

 

 (Matt and I at Disney World with a Duck!!!)

 

 (We looked up at the sky at Disney World and saw a message that means the world!) 

 

(Matt never had a chocolate frozen banana, I had to introduce him to one)

 (Went out to dinner with my friend Ben and his buddies! Great guys and loved talking about our future dreams and careers! Great times!)

 (Guy here has been a fan for a while, him and his wife were stoked on the show and wanted to grab some pics!)

(Hanging with fans at the Heart Support table)

  

(Matt and Adam Grey teach a drum lesson outside of the club in Disney World) 

So pictures can speak words but after all these I have to say... today was an eventful day, seeing fans and being in a place like today makes me truly feel blessed to be alive and living this life the Lord has blessed me with. Today was a good day! 

Thanks fans, and HS community for encouraging me and having community in a little place called Disney World. 

 

Florida! We have a few more dates so come out and spend some time with Heart Support! 

God is good. 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/orlandofl.html Sat, 21 Jan 2012 02:46:13 -0500 <![CDATA[Purpose VS. Isolation ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/purposevsisolation.html  

 

 

Purpose.  We all desire it.  Some of us find it in staying busy.  Others of us find it in not thinking about it.  And some…well, some just never really find it at all.  Purpose motivates us to act, gives meaning to action, and shapes our reaction to the world around us. 

Isolation.  We all fear it.  The idea of finding ourselves completely alone without anyone to call on; it’s frightening.  Being alone is revealing.  The feeling of being isolated parallels the image of being emotionally stripped of all we hold onto and confuse as our own, and left naked and cold with nothing to hide behind. 

There once was a man who knew what it was to have purpose; that man felt isolation to the point of feeling deserted.  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  Jesus was the only man who ever lived to fight death in order to save the world. Purpose.  Jesus was the only man who ever felt completely and utterly alone. Isolation.

I believe Jesus had to feel complete separation from his Father in order to prevent us, though deserving of it, to experience the same.  There was no other way for Jesus to take on the sin of the world and give salvation in exchange without dying…alone.  The kind of isolation Jesus felt from his own father might have felt like the flames of an eternity we deserved to feel, separated from God.

You see, I don’t believe that where this life ends and ‘what is after’ begins, is a line we can draw in the sand. I believe there is more of heaven and hell on earth than we care to see or acknowledge. 

A life spent with God, alongside Jesus Christ, aided by the Holy Spirit; it is Heaven on earth.  Finding purpose in our identity as a son or daughter of a living God is purpose we can find on any continent in any dark alley. 

A life spent absent from the love of God, exemplified through Jesus Christ, provoked by the caring conscious of the Holy Spirit; it must be Hell on earth.  Isolation from God is isolation in its truest and boldest form.  Isolation from God is isolation we’ve invited into our homes, our churches, and our cities.  God’s desires for you have never stopped knocking; His purpose for you is not blurred or confused by your movements in life. 

I think Jesus is the only man who, for a brief moment in time, felt the complete absence of God.  That one incredible act of crucifixion gave the world the very hope it needed.  Generations upon generations were given purpose in a single act of the greatest motion of Love in all of history, past and future.

I am on a bus in a dark and cold alley in downtown Stockholm, Sweden.  Though isolated from my family by half of Europe and most of the Atlantic, I know God is here with me.  I’ve found my purpose behind a few drums with a pair of sticks in my hands and the love of God in my heart. 

My purpose is bigger than August Burns Red; it’s to show Christ’s crazy love in every breath, every drumbeat, every motion of my existence.  God gave me these legs to play, these arms to swing, and this heart to love the same way Love looked on that cross. 

Find purpose in the passion God’s given you.  If you feel alone then call out to God, that he would hear your prayers. Matthew 28:20 gives us a promise; “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

 

“Dear God, please wake me this morning with your purpose for today.  You see me as your own, wonderfully made in your image; help me to see myself that way.  Keep me close and don’t let me go.  I find all of my purpose in you, all of my hope is in you.”

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/purposevsisolation.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 21:07:56 -0500 <![CDATA[Atlanta, GA ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/atlantaga.html Atlanta, GA 

This morning I woke up to Matt and our videographer wanting to go to the gym.. I'll be honest it's been a while since i've gone to the gym but It felt great to work out for an hour and work my arms.. haha i eat more then I play and you can tell.. anyways after the gym we got picked up by a friend and I had some camera stuff being shipped to his house. I've been doing a lot of video interviews on this tour and I needed a few things to help with the camera. I bought a Rode microphone and a battery grip for my T2i. I've never really been into cameras but actually i'm really excited to use this camera and am pumped to capture stories on the road! 

  

Me with the new Camera! Canon T2i with battery pack. Also have a new Rode Mic! 

Matt after the gym! Happy camper! ha 

Tonight i'll be interviewing Josh Scogin from The Chariot.. some of you might know them.. he is the ex singer of Norma Jean and the Chariot are quite a group of fun, exciting and energetic lads! ha Can't wait to hang with him. 

So the show in Atlanta was packed!! One of the hottest shows but one of the best thus far ! I wasn't really stoked on my vocals but the crowd was intense! Singing along louder than I could hear myself! Afterwards I got to hang out with some kids in the front of the stage and actually had 4 or 5 guys ask to pray over me. It was really different because once they started praying for me it was like they all just prayed out loud and i was hearing 4 different guys praying different things over my life.. I just closed my eyes and soaked it all in! Praying for Heart Support, for strength and love not anger, for God to continue to use me and work in my life and the bands shows.... it really was a breath of fresh air.. something I don't get much of by fans.. very thankful for pray as I am a firm believer in prayer. 

After that I cleaned up as much as I could and met up wtih Josh Scogin from the Chariot! This dude is not only an amazing frontman/vocalist but was one of the biggest insipirations in me starting out to scream... it's great to be able to share my story with him and talk about what Heart Support is doing. He has a huge heart and i told him about how we here at Heart Support want to encourage and inspire and bring a sense of community and fellowship. He totally digs what HS is about and decided to give me some time for an interview! So we did an interview and hopfeully will be posting it up in the weeks to come! I want to gives thanks to the kids that prayed over me tonight.. I really appreciated you guys. And always thanks to the fans! God was moving tonight and I felt it on stage... always a good feeling. 

Tomorrow Florida! Thinking about going to Disney World with Matt and our videographer and then have a lunch date with a friend/fan of ABR. Maybe i'll see some of you out there and you can meet up with us for lunch! Be blessed.

P.S. I was really busy so i didn't get to play, but i'm a huge fan of Call of Duty... I got to watch some guys tear it up tonight! haha 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/atlantaga.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:34:04 -0500 <![CDATA[Mission Accomplished: Role Models]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/missionaccomplishedrolemodels.html What a blessing it is to be able to share my victory!

January 13th, 2012 was not the first time i had the pleasure of attending an August Burns Red concert, fortunately. However, this time it was different; this time my brother and I were there for so much more...A Simple Thank You!

It was a frigid night in New Jersey at the Starland Ballroom, a venue in which i had never been to before. When my brother and i first walked in, we found an open floor elevated a few feet above the main floor. I was able to spot Jake out of the corner of my eye. We rushed over to the area where he was standing as quickly as we could because Texas In July was about to take stage and shred, which they did just that!

Luckily, Jake wasnt to far out of reach, so i was able to tap him on the shoulder and give him a letter and gift my brother and i had brought for HS and the band. At that point, Texas in July had began playing so he unknowingly accepted it and gave me a thumbs up, but what happened next was totally unexpected!

Silverstein was due up after Texas in July, another one of my favorites! So I obviously stayed right up front in the same spot. Right before they went on Jake came back and handed me a piece of paper. It turns out the piece of paper was the envelope that the letter had been in signed by the entire band! Jake also wrote a small note back to my brother and I. I showed it to my brother who was still unsre what just happened. He had a look of shock on his face, haha. I told him "That's Jesus right there man!"

At that point i felt the Lord's presence at full blast! About a little more than half way through their set, ABR played Salt and Light, one of my favorite songs! During the bridge, Jake yells "led by the comforter!" only this time, he didnt really sing it, or I couldn't hear him. It's almost as if god was lifting up everyone's voices for those 4 words. Which brings me to the moral point of this victory.

My brother and I screamed those words, and that entire bridge from the heart, because we felt it! It's a fire that burns and has been burning for months and in my case a solid year now. When we were screaming the words i couldnt help but catch a few kids staring at me like i was some kind of moron. Normally i would probably stop singing and try to hide my face. It was than and there that i realized that i had no reason to be afraid of any kind of evangelism and god would want us to speak of his word! Hence why I finally am blogging this!

That was the story of a prayer answered and this is the end of my story, the thankfulness...

My brother and i left about half way through Composure in an effort to try and get a good spot at ABR's merch table hoping they'd come out and say hello. We sat for about 15 minutes and still no show of them. We walked back out to the stage and we saw Jake and his Wife Kris!

I approached the guard rail and was able to get Kris's attention. She was so nice! Unfortunately, Heart Support had not been able to set up a table for that night, but i so badly wanted to show my love and support. I asked Kris if she could hook me up with a shirt and she did! I was so stoked! While waiting for Kris to come back, we were able to meet jake and my brother had told him how he had been saved and had been strong the past few months because of Jakes help. We were able to get a picture with him and just say thank you! That's a big reason why we went; just to say thank you for all He, The Band, and HS has done for us as men and followers of the Lord. It was an overwhelming feeling! When i said my final goodbyes for the night to them, I gave Jake a hug, but it was more than just hugging a Role Model, it was like hugging a brother; a brother in Christ!

Which leads me to say this, Follow the right people! God puts certain people on this earth to help us! People like Jake and Kris, and as great of a feeling it may be to have people like them to look up to, God is my number one role model! As he should be for everyone!

He can save you from anything and will ALWAYS love you. ALWAYS remember that!

Thanks for reading and God Bless!

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/missionaccomplishedrolemodels.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:26:02 -0500 <![CDATA[Lose the World, Gain your Soul]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/losetheworldgainyoursoul.html I've been thinking recently about what it means to really give everything up for Jesus. To literally drop it all to follow him. Look at Peter for example: Jesus walked up to him randomly one day, told him to drop his nets and follow him. That would take CRAZY faith. Imagine the thoughts that would have instantly gone through his head. How will I continue to support my family? I'm quitting my only job, how will I afford to eat?

But he DID it. He put everything he had on this earth to the side, to follow Christ. And Peter was taken care of!!!!

Look again at the story of the rich young dude who wanted to be a disciple. Jesus told him to lose ALL his worldly possessions, and follow him.

In Luke 10, he tells his disciples to go out and bring the Kingdom of God to the cities, and not worry about the money in their wallets, or even shirts on their backs.

Recently in my life, I've felt the Holy Spirit calling me to literally drop EVERYTHING, and go after him and him only. This means my 2 jobs, bachelor's degree which im almost finished, family life, and basically everything that the world would tell me i should hold on to to be "safe".

Probably the scariest thing I've ever faced. I dont even know for sure how i'll be fed each day, but i DO know that i'll be sharing the love of Christ, and I know that Christ is my provider. I'm just praying right now for faith, and timing.

Point of this story is this: NEVER be afraid to give anything up for the sake of the Gospel. After all, were only here for a max 80 or so years, and then its eternity beside Jesus himself!

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/eatingdisordersstories/losetheworldgainyoursoul.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:25:55 -0500 <![CDATA[4 months]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/4months.html I took a huge leap in August. I left a life that I was quite happy with and a boy that I was quite in love with in Portland, with almost no warning, because I was positive God was calling me to. He had been pushing the idea for months previous, but I kept telling him "No, I'm so happy! I don't want to give up on all of this." But then, my Mom asked me to come home. She and my dad were going out of the country for work, leaving my 18 year old brother home all alone. You can imagine how that would pan out.

I took that as a sign from God. I left my life, my job, my boyfriend, everything, two weeks later. I was at peace with it all because "it was Gods wiiillll" and "it's His plaaaan for me."

Only to get home and be really angry with Him for making me leave. I stopped going to church, actually LOST my bible [which is really depressing because it has my Oh,Sleeper, sticker on it], and by the end of December started up a lifestyle that had friends close to me wondering what was going on. School was fine, work was fine, on the outside, I was totally okay. But on the inside, I had built up so many walls I didn't know or care when Sunday was. It had become nothing more than a day to recover from the last two nights before I had to go back to work. I normally drink VERY occasionally, but it tuned into a nightly thing and not just a drink, it was three or four nightly, for close to a month.

And although i hate to admit, it i know i was really doing it on purpose to show God how unhappy I was with Him.

When I woke up on January 1, 2012, the first thing I did was cry. I woke up feeling like OKAY. it's official- nothing will be the same. It was a tragic feeling, I was scared because I knew I was at the end of my rope. But I was petrified of letting God be in control again, because I hurt so badly the last time I let Him lead the way.

But then I started to hear little whispers. I wanted to ignore them, but I was breaking down quickly and couldn't keep my guard up.

There is a band called Wolves At The Gate. This past Saturday, one of their songs called Oh, The Depths was stuck in my head. I was doing something, singing it out loud to myself, and at one moment the past 4 months of my life came down at once. I knew it was happening, I knew God was crashing back into my life with force and I tried desperately to control the situation, which made it immediately WORSE.

I did the last thing I could think of to take my life into my own hands. I won't get into exactly WHAT i did, but it resulted in me crying and crying like something out of a movie. Honestly, it was pathetic! But it broke down the last barriers I had and I talked to God for the first time since August.

The next day I went to church... A church called Mosaic that I'd been specifically avoiding because it's supposed to be the "hip" church, and after 3 years of living in Portland I'd had my share of "HIP" churches. (Yes, everything you watch in Portlandia is true). But it all of a sudden this specific church was like a beacon, screaming my name all day until 7pm came around. It was amazing, I loved it, I left feeling new and filled up.

But then today, Tuesday, an old, tiny memory of the Boy came to mind that made me back track all at once. But this time I was angry and I started building those walls up again. I felt totally and utterly alone. unloved. unwanted. worthless. all of those things. but on top of that I was FURIOUS with God. WHY on Earth would he not want to come visit ME? HOW could He make me move here? How could I have been so STUPID! To think I just up and left... I must not have thought it out thoroughly. I was accusing him, blaming him, pinning anything I could on him.

At one moment, while I was holding my breath to stop crying, there was a moment of peace. And all I could think was I NEED WOLVES AT THE GATE I NEED WOLVES AT THE GATE! It was this frantic kind of thing, I don't know where the thought even came from. (well... i mean i do, but it seemed random at the time)

After a few songs my anger turned to worship, and i wasn't crying out of frustration but out of gratefulness for His grace and unconditional love. I was flooded with peace, something that I've been completely without since September.

The past 4 months have been a struggle because of all the uncertainty that came with taking such a huge leap of faith. While it was happening, I was excited! But the aftermath was confusing.

It took 4 months for me to admit I was scared. I'd been totally shutting Him out because I was scared of what he was going to change in my life. But doing all of that only brought me to the a place where nothing I did worked; i just kept getting worse holding on to things He literally told me to leave behind.

But the most insane part about it is that it only took 5 minutes from the moment I was yelling at God today to the time i was crying out and singing praises. Such transformations are really only possible through the dense love that is found through our Father. I've been smiling all day, and this is at a time in my life when my closest friends have been genuinely worried about me because the past few months have been a very crazy downward spiral.

It's crazy how sometimes you have to hit bottom to realize the most obvious thing, that God loves you always and you are NEVER alone.

"We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."-Romans 8:28

:)

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/4months.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:24:08 -0500 <![CDATA[Rise or Die Trying]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/substancesstories/riseordietrying.html At some points you find that one thing to help pull yourself up above and beyond your struggles. I myself have found this many of times….but every time it seems to escape me the next time. As a 21 year old I have attempted to end my life atleast 5 times to which I seem to overcome my feelings quickly to only have my pain sweep back in a couple of months. The thing is how much I love everything around me to only have escape in those moments of weakness. I have attended free counseling before and I have taken some over the counter random things which seem to hold up only for a few weeks. The worst part is the fact that it happened once again a week ago, when it successfully overdosed on sleeping pills. While the fact that I was able to hide it the next day from everyone of my classmates, coworkers, and my friends baffles me because my body was completely numb. God was there in the beginning but my faith has faltered every time to the point where I’m not sure what I believe anymore. I found alcohol when I came to the university I now attend and have passed out cutting my wrists (as recent as last year).
The most resounding problem is the fact that I am not a person who is isolated, far from it. In fact I am in one of the largest organizations at this university. One of the deans knows me by first name, I have risen over thousands of dollars for charity at events I have organized and advertised. I am a popular person on campus but I feel like it was the same as it was before: The one guy that everyone knows but without my friends. The closest thing I can find now is Metal to helping this. I can’t even count how many times “Composure”-ABR has played and helped me put in perspective the feelings.
If anyone takes the time to respond to this feel free to shoot me an email at Iriseordietrying@yahoo.com . I don’t need to hear the fact that ‘hey you need help’ I continuously seek it out (I won’t be dropping outta school to be doing it or to afford it so I refuse to go beyond free sessions).
What I hope to accomplish by posting this story? All I hope is that if God is still there that he hears this and makes an appearance in my life. I refuse to search for answers at the bottom of bottles and feel as though my drunkenness only accelerates the feelings I suppress. My goal out of college is to be able to teach in a high school and help students who experience depression.
Shoot me emails let me know your story that is similar or even your support. I officially want to move beyond this. I want to fight, I want to overcome, I want to reclaim my life.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/substancesstories/riseordietrying.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:23:36 -0500 <![CDATA[Nashville, TN]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/nashvilletn.html Nashville TN is pretty sweet! Walked to Broadway st which is pretty much a strip of bars and resturaunts that almost resemble an older Las Vegas! It has a high vibe and full of musicians.. It was great to see something other than just the bus and venue... and Kris and I had a nice walk and got to have a taste of Nashville, literally we went and grabbed dinner at a pub. . 

It was great to see friend Chad Johnson, not sure if you know him or not but he is the founder of Come and Live. It's a worship label that supports Christian worship music... not your typical worship music either.. He has indie rock bands, metal bands, hardcore bands,  worship bands.. but his vision is to bring Heaven on earth through music and lyrics. He is a huge inspiration to myself personally and i love when we have time to catch up. So it was great to see his face today! 

 

http://www.comeandlive.com 

After the show tonight I had set up the Heart Support table! I literally had a line all the way across the room.. Some people knew of Heart Support and bought shirts and stickers (Which I thank you for supporting) others asked what it was all about! I had one guy explain to me that Heart Support has helped him have a rebirth in his relationship with God! Another guy said that he was from Singapore and that August Burns Red's lyrics inspired him to reach out for his dreams and that is why he is in america, to study Music Business! 

The best part was after the show Matt and I went out to dinner with two kids! One Shane Tyler, he and I have been talking via twitter for a bit and he is part of the HS community. He said he would love to grab dinner with Matt and I. The other guy asked to speak to me after the show... turns out he is one who has been a part of HS for a long time ago! He actually had emailed me two years ago and now we were able to catch up! He has an amazing story and we will be posting both him and Shane's stories soon! 

Another crazy thing is shane has a Heart Support Tattoo!! 

 

We decided on Waffle House... I LOVE WAFFLE HOUSE! What do i get you ask? oh no big deal, just the texas cheesesteak plate with extra cheese and steak with onions in the sandwich, a side of hashbrowns with cheese and a coffee.. . so basically a heart attack on a plate. .. 

Either way Rocketown is an amazing venue you have Nashville! Kris and I enjoyed watching kids skate in the PARK Inside the venue! Thanks for having us, thanks to the fans and hope to go out to eat with some kids next week! 


God Bless you guys!

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/nashvilletn.html Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:51:46 -0500 <![CDATA[Charleston, SC]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/charlestonsc.html Charleston, SC

 

So yesterday we had a day off and I actually spent that day with my family in South Carolina. I got to play with one of my two pitbulls Macy! She is the sweetest dog I’ve ever known and I really hope she can move with me in the future up north.

I saw my step father in the hospital who is suffering from a stroke. Please keep him in your prayers… also spent the night with my wife, mother and brother talking about old times and catching up. Being home for a night really helps your moral when you are on tour. It’s really easy to get home sick and miss your family and friends.
I also went to my house I purchased 3 years ago and picked a few things up for the tour. I also was really excited to ride my Harley Davidson Iron 883 motorcycle… unfortunately looks like I’ll be selling her.

 

In Charleston one of the best places!! I wish I could live here. … hope to meet up with some kids tonight after rocking the Music Farm. Lets hope for the best!

So after the show i went to the Heart Support table and talked with tons of kids. Some wanted to thank me for writing lyrics, others wanted to thank me for Heart Support. It's really quite amazing to see some kids who are so genuine about what they have found at Heart Support. Expressing how much it has helped them grow in their faith or overcome their current struggles... I never thought i'd be used this way. I appreciate all the conversations and hearing testimonies of how HS has helped. 

After that I even talked to a few of the kids standing outside our bus.. Met up with an old friend of mine from Columbia SC, he invited me and my wife to Belmont. Belmont is this 20's bar/restaurant.. they had the most amazing panini! I got the pepperoni and cheese panini! If you live in Charleston and have not gone... you are missing out! So one of the kids I met tonight that showed us Belmont turned out to be a huge fan of ABR.. he has seen us 8 times and was really excited to spend the rest of our night together. Tomorrow in Nashville I plan on going out to dinner with ... well whoever really wants to go out! So if you are going to Nashville show and want to grab some eats after show! Let me know @jakeabr 

Thanks Charleston, friends and fans! Had a blast! Belmont, thanks for the pizza panini and a day off was much needed. 

 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/charlestonsc.html Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:07:58 -0500 <![CDATA[Charlotte, NC]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/charlottenc.html Charlotte NC

 

Yesterday in Charolotte was an amazing day full of family, friends and fans! We’ve played Amos’s quite a few times in the past and we’ve had great shows but last night was one of the best there thus far! Sold out and full of sing alongs and dancing. But let me start from the beginning. I woke up and needed my COFFEE!! Love coffee and probably a little to much. Walked down to the Commen Wealth and met up with two kids waiting for the show. We bought coffee and Wasabi green peas! Have you ever had them? Well if you like hot and spicy you should go get some. They are delicious! Haha  I’m hooked. 

 

After getting my coffee and getting ready for the day I had to get prepare for a ton of friends and family. I was raised in Columbia South Carolina which is just two hours from Charlotte.. I had my mother and brother coming out, my old boss with 12 of his friends, Joe Musten (Drummer for the Almost AND Team member of Heart Support) and my buddy Chip Harbin a tattoo artist AND pastor! 

                                               

         (Chip Harbin and Joe Musten)


So before the show I actually got the chance to interview Chip Harbin about being a pastor and tattoo artist. We talked about where his dream as an artist started and what he has had to sacrifice in order to be successful.  He is a great guy and has a lot to say so I’m really excited to post his video up in the near future! He also is a supporter of Heart Support and loves the community!

 

Matt also had his first HS drum lesson that day as well! Matt really enjoyed teaching and meeting other younger drummers and is excited for the lessons to come! 

 

When my mom and brother showed up we went to one of my favorite sub shops! JIMMY JOHNS!!!! Unfortunately wasn’t able to eat that until after our 15 song set.. but it was my reward after the show.

 

After we rocked the stage at Amos’s in Charlotte Matt, Joe Musten, and I met up with kids at the Heart Support table! Met kids that prayed over me which is just awesome. Thankful for prayers and met tons of you who are a part of the community. Thanks for the conversations and the encouragement from all of you.
We talked about how God has changed our lives and moved us forward in life. Talked about how God has helped us overcome struggles and talk about how powerful prayer is and pursing God. I ended the night with Joe Musten talking about how powerful music is and how excited he is to be a part of Heart Support.  Joe is one of the greatest guys I know. He has a huge heart for people and is stoked to be a part of this community! So if you are reading this connect with this guy cause he is amazing!

 Thanks to all the HS supporters who purchased a shirt and donated to the community! Thanks so much guys, God Bless you. 

P.S. Matt and I want to say thanks to Chip Harbin for the piece of art he created for ABR! Thanks brother! Love you! 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/charlottenc.html Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:19:07 -0500 <![CDATA[Baltimore, MD ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/baltimoremd.html Tons of great things to tell about today! First off we played a Festival with tons of bands today at Sonar club in Baltimore.. It was freezing cold outside and was an early bird day. Had sound check at 10:00.. thats pretty early. usually we do soundcheck at 2 or 3... We afterwards walked to Whole Foods... love the food, healthier option.. going to make me broke. 

Then I actually was able to meet up with an amazing vocalist and a strong man of God.. Matt Montgomery. I was able to interview him for this months Guts, Gifts and Glory campaign, about what is HIS love and what he's sacrificed to live for HIS love. So amazing! We talked in the back of the ABR bus for an hour and I have to say Matt has a lot to say, and I know that I could learn a lot from this guy. He plays in a band called For Today.. check them out and go to a show cause they kill it! 

  

We will be posting his interview soon! 

A couple of kids won a meet and greet contest and met up with us around 4 this afternoon!! We took them on to our bus and watched a little bit of the 49ers game "which was incredible" and found out that one of the kids is RATED #1 online for Drummer ROCK BAND!! We actually watched a video of him playing Rock band on drums on a super fast level and didn't MISS A BEAT!!! It was amazing! Wow!! It was really neat to sit down with those two brothers and just be able to hang out with fans and get to know them more. We gave them some signed drum heads and took some pics! Pretty cool times! 

  

Then after the show, which was a sweaty one and i think everyone was really exhausted from the other ten bands that played tonight... we played all 15 songs.. and honestly my voice seemed to hold up pretty well.. So after i showered and was heading to the bus.. I was able to meet up with a Heart Support SUPPORTER named Justin ! Awesome guy who leads the youth and stages events for the youth.. It wasn't very long but it was awesome just to talk about how God is working in our lives.. He mentioned that he sometimes asks himself if he is where God wants him to be.. and God replies YES without a doubt.. That is an amazing feeling... and i would love to stress that to everyone.. Ask God if you are where you should be.. where He wants you to be.. We also talked about how powerful and real prayer is! He is a great guy and I enjoyed out talk. God Bless you Baltimore and thanks for everything. 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/baltimoremd.html Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:22:13 -0500 <![CDATA[New Jersey! ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/newjersey.html NEW JERSEY!!! YOU BLEW ME AWAY! 

 

New Jersey,

 Today I walked out of the bus having no idea what club we were at… then I realized that we were in New Jersey at the Starland Ballroom. A club I’ve shared many memories with many people and bands, As I Lay Dying being one of those bands and people. I knew tonight was going to be an amazing show… however I was extremely nervous due to the fact that we are playing 15 songs on this tour and I starting a few on click.. We just ordered new in ear monitors and I’ve been against them for the past two years… but this tour I’m giving them a shot. I’ll make sure to have a pic of them along with this.

 

Matt, Dustin and Mason (Drum Tech) decided to walk a mile down the street for Dunkin Donuts.. none of us are die hard fans of Dunkin Donuts but we were really craving some food and coffee..  Come to find out Matt’s mom is a huge Dunkin Donuts fan. Haha I just like coffee..

 

It’s actually really nice to be on a bus.. we had done a van and trailer for so long in our career that finally stepping up to a bus was exciting and still is. I’m really thankful to be at this level in ABR’s career…  Something Matt and I discussed.. just thinking back on all that we were before ABR got to where we are today..

Starting out just jamming as kids, with no real amazing writing or songs… but then walking back down the street to the bus from Dunkin Donuts… coming to the realization that we are in a full time touring band, on a bus … me with a wife… It really made us think of how blessed we are and how far we’ve really gone. When you think of where you’ve been and where you are today… it makes you thankful for what you currently have.. I call those current blessings..

Think about it.

Ok, I’ve gotta go on stage .. wish me luck.. hope it goes well for the first show.. PS I was born in New Jersey.. so I guess I’m home?

 

OK so I just got done with the show and it was AMAZING!!!

 I met two kids Greg and Steve… they wrote a letter to HS and the band about how much HS and ABR has helped them grow as men and as followers of Christ… it really struck me to understand what it is that I'm really doing here in this band…

I was really thankful for that letter and the letter bringing me the understanding of how I and the band and Heart Support is impacting people.. wow!

I’m so exhausted but it was great talking to the fans after the show and meeting kids who have dreams just as much as I do.

Here are some pics of today/tonight! 

BALTIMORE SEE YOU TOMORROW! 

PS the in ears i have a lion from a kid who drew it for me and Isaiah 61:1-3 which is--

 

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor;

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."

 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/newjersey.html Sat, 14 Jan 2012 01:39:19 -0500 <![CDATA[Heart Support on tour]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/heartsupportontour1.html Heart Support is going on tour January 13th- March 3rd with August Burns Red!

Go here to see dates!! http://www.augustburnsred.com/

After every show, Jake Luhrs and Matt Greiner will be at Heart Support’s merch table to hang out with you guys! Make sure to stop by and chat with them about life, tour, and Heart Support! 

The theme of this tour is Guts, Gifts, and Glory, and we want to hear your stories and testimonies! What are your dreams? What do you want to succeed in? How do you plan on making these dreams a reality? It’s going to take some guts to get there, and what tools and gifts do you have to make it? And when you make it, to whom and what are you going to give glory?

Write a guest blog for Heart Support about your dreams, and come hang out with Heart Support on tour to talk about our dreams, goals, and how we want to live our lives.

 

  

Go here to see dates!! http://www.augustburnsred.com/

Jan 15 - Charlotte, NC

Jan 19 - Atlanta, GA

Jan 25 - Houston, TX

Jan 29 - San Antonio, TX

Feb 5 - San Francisco, CA

Feb 15 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

Feb 22 - Cleveland, Ohio

Feb 26 - Montreal, QC

Come hang out with Matthew Greiner and Jake Luhrs on tour! If you are in these areas on these dates email mattteachesdrums@hotmail.com and submit yourself to being apart of the Sticks and a Pad sessions!

Lessons will be held by Matt Greiner in a convenient location. 

Lessons will be 30 minutes long. 

Requirements: Bring your own drums sticks along with a drum pad for lessons. 

 

 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/heartsupportontour1.html Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:21:11 -0500 <![CDATA[Second Chances]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/secondchances.html Back in July of 2011, I posted a story called Health Struggles. I suppose this could be considered a continuation...

When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s in the summer of 2003, I had just completed my first year of university (at the time I was going for BSC. Wildlife Biology). The classes were so big. The professors didn’t give a hoot about whether or not you showed up for class and they had serious God complexes. Everything was just so impersonal and I felt invisible. On top of that, I was so sick I could barely function. The Crohn’s initially presented itself as arthritis and by the end of the year I was hardly eating because it was too painful to walk to the cafeteria. It took everything within me to walk to the gymnasium to write my final exams. I managed to finish out the year, however once diagnosed I was too sick to return to school and so never obtained my degree. It was discouraging but with all I was dealing with, I could never fathom returning.

As you may, or may not, know, Crohn’s is considered an “incurable” disease. For months, all I heard about was coming to terms with the disease...accepting the inevitable...learning how to cope with lifelong symptoms. I made it to church as often as I was physically able and I grew up with a strong, Christian foundation, but hearing these things took a toll on me. One of the biggest, and possibly the saddest, ways I was affected was that I stopped dreaming. I started believing the lies of the enemy and only ever saw my future in terms of “the disease.” The past 9 years have not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Not only has it been a physical battle, but a spiritual one as well. The Word says that though we live in the world, we don’t wage war as the world does (2 Corinthians 10:3). I had to wage spiritual warfare and take captive all those thoughts. I’ve grown a lot spiritually over these past years and although I still struggle, as anyone does, by God’s grace I’m doing pretty good at keeping those kinds of thoughts under control.

This past September something in me changed. I began revisiting all the dreams that had lain dormant for so long. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d go back to school, but suddenly I had the urge to see what was out there. After looking at some programs, at the suggestion of a friend I took a look at ORU’s website. After reading some of the programs and praying about it, God put it on my heart to apply. I’m happy to say that I’ve been accepted and will be moving all the way from a little town in Ontario, Canada to Tulsa, Oklahoma to get my BSc. Biology. Not only that but the Crohn’s is, technically, in “remission.” I’m still believing for total manifest healing but in the meantime I feel great – the best I have in a long time.

By the time I graduate, I’ll be 32. I never thought I’d go back to school, let alone at 28. But age is just a number – I most definitely don’t feel my age. God is restoring unto me all the years I lost and I am SO excited to see what He has in store for me! For too long, I let the enemy toy with my mind. He had me believing that I could never do anything worthwhile. But after getting into the Word and just seeking God, I know that that is the biggest lie there is! It feels so good to dream again! I believe God places dreams inside us all. For me, I know He’s got something HUGE in store for me and I’m beyond ready to embark on the journey He has for me. Am I a little apprehensive? Sure. Change can be scary, but my hope and faith and trust are in God and I know that He is leading and guiding me through it all.

So I say all that to say this: For any of you who might be wondering if you’ll ever have a second chance, you will!! Don’t ever let anyone – family, friends, that little voice inside your head – tell you that an opportunity has passed you by or that you missed it. That is nothing but a lie straight from the enemy! The truth is this: God has such incredible plans for you! Plans for a hope and a future, to prosper and not harm you (Jeremiah 29:11). When we put our trust in God, He will direct our path (Proverbs 3:5-6). Best of all, God never gives up on His plans for you...”being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) I pray that you rediscover the dreams God placed in your heart and go after them!

God Bless!

Ashley

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/secondchances.html Sun, 08 Jan 2012 21:17:01 -0500 <![CDATA[Sticks and a Pad ]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/sticksandapad.html Sticks and a Pad: Heart Support is going on tour with August Burns Red, and Matthew Greiner is going to give drum lessons on these dates of the tour!!

Jan 15 - Charlotte, NC

Jan 19 - Atlanta, GA

Jan 25 - Houston, TX

Jan 29 - San Antonio, TX

Feb 5 - San Francisco, CA

Feb 15 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

Feb 22 - Cleveland, Ohio

Feb 26 - Montreal, QC

Come hang out with Matthew Greiner and Jake Luhrs on tour! If you are in these areas on these dates email mattteachesdrums@hotmail.com and submit yourself to being apart of the Sticks and a Pad sessions!

Lessons will be held by Matt Greiner in a convenient location. 

Lessons will be 30 minutes long. 

Requirements: Bring your own drums sticks along with a drum pad for lessons. 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/sticksandapad.html Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:35:44 -0500 <![CDATA[.Masculinity.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/masculinity.html

“Did you ever kill anyone?”

10 minutes ago I was greeted by screaming friends and family that looked eerily similar to an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition minus the tanned guy with perfectly groomed hair and highlights.

 Back to the question:

“So did you ever kill anyone?”

 

To be honest, I had done a lot in 11 years in the military. I had kicked in doors in Afghanistan and raided homes. My base got mortared 67 times in 9 months. I had been in numerous ambushes and firefights. At one point, I had a bounty on my head for $20,000 courtesy of the Taliban. In response, I grew a beard, wore civilian clothes and carried a rifle. You probably know the picture….the guy with the baseball cap on, a thick beard and an Afghan scarf looking like he stepped out of the Medal of Honor video game? Yup, I looked like him. Eventually my luck ran out and I got wounded pretty badly one month before returning home. Pieces of shrapnel in my back, a shattered wrist, and a concussion, but I came to expect that working in the United States Special Operations Command.

 

In Iraq I kicked in more doors, took shotgun pellets to the face (courtesy of a trigger happy Marine), watched IEDs explode in front of my vehicle, watched people shoot at my vehicle, watched people shoot at me, watched people shoot my friends, attended funerals, cried, laughed, got depressed, screamed, ranted, fought, got dirty, got dirtier, didn’t shower for 3 weeks, burned my own feces, cried some more, got PTSD, then I went home.

 

The question still loomed:

“Did. You. Kill anyone?”

 

And people would always ask at really inappropriate times.

Birthdays.

Funerals.

Weddings.

Family reunions.

And I still hate the question…

 

It’s like someone sticking a microphone in my face and saying “Quick!  Tell me how you felt after your girlfriend/fiancée/wife left you?” It’s not the question that bothers me so much as the emotion that goes along with it. How, exactly, am I supposed to feel? More importantly, how is the average male supposed to act when asked?

 

Suck it up. Show no emotion. Don’t cry…...crying is for girls. You’re a machine. An elite killer. Breathe. Don’t jerk the trigger. Just the slightest pull because you’re a…….

 

A man.

 


 

Somewhere in our culture it’s getting drilled into young men’s minds that going to war and taking a life makes you more of a man. It’s macho. Sexy. Guys want to be you and girls want to be with you.  

 

Which brings me to my basic introduction of manhood in the 21st century:

1.  Fast cars, abs, benching  = chicks.  Painting, the arts, and dance are for men with feminine qualities. 

2.  Sports are more important than academics because it makes you cool.  No one likes nerds.  Nerds have calculators. And goldfish. No girlfriends.

3.  Objectify women. Turn them into sex kittens to fulfill your fantasies and when they don’t meet that standard, break up with them.

4.  A quick addition to #3.  Date eight women at a time so you can keep your options open.  Why tie yourself down? Don’t date their friends though. Drama.

5. It’s all about you, and if it isn’t, that’s societies fault. Buy more. Consume more. Be happy and in love only with YOU.

 

That last one, Number 5? It’s a common term known as narcissism, and the problem with masculinity today is that we are breathing narcissistic death into our young men with every word, TV show, advertisement, lyric….you name it. And we’re in this really weird situation where we expect men to behave like King Arthur and the Knights of the Round, but instead of getting Lancelot, we celebrate manhood in a whole different way that encourages narcissism rather than destroying it and buy into the lie that it’ll make us happy.

 

Let me be very transparent for a moment and tell you how I bought into the lie.

 

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve slept with because I got freaked out by the number one day and stopped counting, but all my friends told me the more women I was with, the more awesome I was and I believed them. I got hooked on pornography for a solid 10 years and got into some pretty shady fetishes and even now that I’m married I have to keep software on my computer that sends a report to my wife of every website I visit. I was a total jerk to women and would laugh at them when they told me about their “feelings” and how I had “used them.” I cared about no one but me and only how I could get ahead in life. My life was about me. It was everything I had seen on TV, everything my friends had told me.

 

I was an American male’s dream. I was supposed to be happy, right? RIGHT?

 

So if we’re living these lives of so-called masculinity, having all the sex we want, treating women however we want, making it all about us then why does the average male feel so empty and alone?  

 

It’s because that’s NOT what makes you a man or will ever fulfill you as a man. 

 

Selflessness, self-sacrifice, passion and zeal to protect God's daughters, creativity, ingenuity, integrity, brutal honesty, compassion, these are some of the marks of manhood, but it seems no one really wants to teach that. Sure, we can all name movies with some of those traits, but look at everything else were being taught through movies, TV shows, and commercials. Selflessness? Nope, narcissism. And for the life of me I’ve never heard someone walk into the Sistine Chapel and describe Michelangelo’s masterpiece as “something made by a  pansy,” yet somehow some of the traits I just listed off would get labeled as such.

 

God has created us to live these lives of epic adventure and creativity…to have battles to fight, to be generous rather than greedy, to value honesty rather than beautiful lies, to pursue our passions rather than settle, to chase after a woman, romance her and fight for her honor…..to sacrifice so that we can be servants instead of slaves to society. The problem is were so content living the life of a cultured dog that in the same way the dog thinks it’s accomplished a major task by fetching a bone for it’s master or chasing a fire truck it can’t catch, we are completely content mastering Call of Duty and pursuing a woman when it’s convenient for us.

 

This is why I love the Apostle Paul and how blunt he is towards men. In his closing letter to the Corinthian Church, he stops mid-sentence and says this:

 

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be done in love.”

 

That's always an ego shot. Any time you hear, “Why don't you act like a man?,” it's just a little shot to a man’s self esteem (I’m sure ladies are taking note). The phrase I want to focus on though is this one, “Be watchful”.

 

Why?

 

Because every man knows where he’s weak.  

 

EVERY.  

MAN.  

KNOWS.  

 

We know if we play too many video games and slack at responsibilities. We know if we got porn issues. We know if we got anger issues. We know if we treat our girl like garbage. We know if we’re jealous. So Paul says be watchful of that and act like a man. Be strong! Doesn’t it make sense to work at the areas in our lives where we’re weak? If I have a Porsche but I continually pour water in the gas tank doesn’t that, in the grand scheme of things, seem a little dumb?Wouldn’t it make sense to make the effort to get gas even if the path to get the gas is really hard?

 

“Let all that you do be done in love.”

 

I remember after I got home from Afghanistan and finally saw my grandfather. My grandfather was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne during WWII. He missed the D-Day jump because he caught pneumonia and was hospitalized. He personally met General George Patton and was his scotch supplier during the war. I had always looked up to my grandfather and thus went to war with the 82nd Airborne as well.

 

We sat down on his porch during a beautiful Colorado afternoon and watched the cotton trees in his backyard make it look like it was snowing even though it was summer.

 

“Now you’re a man…….”

 

I nodded, not entirely sure what I was supposed to say, but then I caught his eyes. His eyes weren’t proud of me. It was something else. Maybe pained or compassionate.

 

My grandfather knew I was a man not because of a rifle or a battle or the fact I had been shot.  His eyes told a different story.

 

His eyes said:

 

“Now you’re a man because you know what sacrifice means. You know what it’s like to care so much for the men to your left and right that you’d do anything for them, including give your life so they make it home. You know what it’s like to care about something more than yourself. You know what it’s like to serve without expecting anything in return. Every action you made was in love for another person. This is why you’re a man now”

 

It felt weird. Foreign. It didn’t feel right. I knew there were men out there who had given more. Arms. Legs. Life.

 

Today I know there’s only one person that perfectly embodies any of what my grandfather’s eyes spoke to me. His name is Jesus. The only one who’s walked in complete love and sacrificed everything for us. You want to know what it looks like to be a man? Look to the life of Jesus. I mean, you want to talk about self-sacrifice and all the valiant themes that men love so much, then the life of Jesus should set the bar for all men to follow.

 


 

And listen, don’t hear me say, “do this stuff and act this way and you’re a man,” because the truth is all of us are failing this at some level. That's why the cross is such a beautiful thing. I don't think there's anybody reading this that's like, “Follow me, boys.” I don't think there are. If there are, I sure wouldn't follow them. Proud and arrogant, I wouldn't follow that guy. I'd follow the guy that's like, “I'm trying. Here's how I'm trying.” That's the guy I want to get around.  Flaws, screw-ups and all. To be more to the point, isn’t that the type of guys Jesus hung around?  Screw-ups, sinners, and weirdos that were at least trying?

 

And then, here's my hope for any ladies reading this. My hope is that God would put in your heart a deep and consistent desire for a man, not a male. They get born that way. It doesn’t make them a man. Finding a man like this is gonna be like climbing a ladder to the moon, but don’t settle for anything less. Please don’t settle for less than the way you deserve to be treated. And please, please don’t settle for less than what’s demanded of the men by God.

 

May we be ferocious, God-fearing men that raise up a new generation and not another weak-willed one.

 


Ben Sledge, college pastor for Gateway Church in Austin, TX

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/masculinity.html Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:17:47 -0500 <![CDATA[Giving Affection]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/givingaffection.html Is it weird that I long to call a girl beautiful, say I love you, and it not be awkward?It seems like such a weird thing to want, but I’ve really wanted be able to give affection rather than receive. I don’t know the word, but I’ve realized how important it is for me to make sure others are happy. Putting myself before others. I’ve been told that’s a bad thing, but I can’t understand why. To be honest, I hate being selfish and showing my affection is a way for me to put others before me.

God has put me in such an emotion hurricane this past couple months, and hopefully it will calm down soon haha. There’s a girl I’ve been falling for for the past two-three months and God is now revealing to me that I NEED to tell her. Before I was nervous because I didn’t want to tell her, but now I HAVE to tell her, but I physically can’t. It’s something I’ve been praying about extensively and NOW that I have the answers I can’t wait to tell her. God I’m foolish for not knowing earlier. You’ve put these emotions in me for a reason and you’ve kept them inside of me for a reason. I just wish I knew before so I didn’t have to wait a month to tell her how I feel.

There’s only good that can come out of doing God’s will and knowing THIS is what God wants me to do I can only anticipate what’s going to happen.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/givingaffection.html Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:46:27 -0500 <![CDATA[College: My Breaking Point]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/collegemybreakingpoint.html I just finished my first semester of college and when I look back on this semester, I see that I've gone through more than I went through in all of high school, especially spiritually. Looking from the outside, High school seems like it would have made a giant impact on my life, and it has. I met some great, life changing people, who I love dearly, but I think that within this first semester of college, I have changed much more than I did in those four years of high school,

My first week of college was filled with events planned for all the incoming freshmen to help them meet new people and build new friendships, however, I am painfully shy, so these were almost useless to me. I was too shy to speak to anyone mainly because I never really had to. All throughout my life, I never spoke to strangers if I didn't have to. And in this case, there was no one physically present encouraging me to reach out to people and get friends. Soon I became extremely lonely. A loneliness that I've never experienced before. There were times in high school were I didn't really have close friends, but at the end of the day, I could always come back home to family and put aside the loneliness until the next day. At college, however, there was no escaping the loneliness. To help you picture my feelings, it was like my mom had taken me to an ocean to live amongst all these aquatic animals who all had something in common with each other, but nothing in common with me. I was definitely a minority, an black person who's favorite bands generally won't be found on mtv, wearing skinny jeans and band shirts. The majority of the students were white and many of their interests seemed to be going out, partying, etc. I do realize this is an extreme generalization, but before getting to know anyone, this is the impression many gave off.

After a while I began to forget the sound of my own voice because I would go days without talking. I began to realize that I reached a new low in loneliness compared to any other moment in my life. This is when I had to completely turn to God. I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember, growing up in a Christian home, but it wasn't until this point that I realized that I really needed to give it all to God. It was like my life was a ballon, and I had given the ballon to God, but I kept a tight grip on the string connected to it. But after loneliness basically beat me to wits end, I had to give in and give up. I would not win. I couldn't win... on my own. I continuously prayed and told God to take total control, pouring my heart out to him nearly every night. Soon people began to speak to me and at first I was pretty awkward since I nearly forgot how to interact with people. One of the first group of friends who I see quite often was this group of kids who noticed me outside playing guitar. They came and watched me and we talked for a while, just getting to know each other.

Soon later I began to get to know people in my classes and other music major like myself and I began to see my general happiness increase. I have yet to find anyone with very similar interests as me who I hang out with regularly, however, God has brought me a long way. I am by no means popular and this story is not for me to say how much better of a person I became, but it's to tell how weak I became, and how God stepped in when I cried out to him and he heard me. This was the first time in my life that I felt completely helpless and I was forced to let God take control, and let me tell you; that's the best thing I've ever done. I still have to remind myself to let God take control constantly, seeing as how it's a new lifestyle for me, but after seeing how he brought me through this, it's so much easier to give Him control again and again. Hopefully it will become a habit soon, but I am thankful that God brought me to that point in my life, because I am more than sure that the lesson in giving, the lesson in surrendering, that He taught me is far greater than having all the friends I could ask for, the second I asked for them.

God is definitely not done working in my life, as I see new things he shows me constantly. He is always amazing me, and I have a new kind of joy, that I never really felt totally before. A joy that doesn't run away with certain circumstances, but a persistent joy that I know is from the infinite joy of my Lord.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/collegemybreakingpoint.html Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:46:17 -0500 <![CDATA[.The Heart Issue.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/theheartissue.html The Heart Issue.

Giving materialistic things to someone with a heart issue.

 Do you ever find yourself giving and putting in time and money into a person? Then seeing that person not even move an inch in the right direction? It’s so frustrating. Why do you think that is? You've done so much for this person, so why aren't they getting better or correcting the problems at hand that have been discussed? 

It could very well be that there is a heart issue at hand. I touched on this at the end of the “Casting Pearls” blog and I’m going to get into it a little deeper now. A heart issue: any issue that can destroy the heart. It’s a difficult thing to face, and most often when we see a person stagnant, we can be sure they are unwilling to delve into it. The person simply doesn’t want to deal with their heart issue. It's hard to face, it's hard to change. Some people just accept it as who they are, and never face the issue. Only then it begins to fester and grow, and become bigger and stronger in their life. And when someone like you comes along to guide, help, pursue, strengthen and invest time into them...it simply doesn’t just go away.

Their is no point in trying to help someone fix their porn problem when there heart issue is that they have been molested… or that they don't love their own bodies.. 

No point in trying to help someone's heroin addiction when they don't love their own hearts and don't feel of any worth inside.. Do you get what I'm saying? 

Some of the sin in our lives are just problems that have grown because of the heart issues never being faced, destroyed or conquered. If we have heart issues, it's extremely important that we speak about them and tackle them head on! With help of course! Seek counsel, pray, allow God in to fix what has been broken. He is your Healter. If you don't destroy the heart issue, it could destroy you. 

 

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/theheartissue.html Thu, 22 Dec 2011 21:12:56 -0500 <![CDATA[Testimony from our friend "Daddy"]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/testimonyfromourfrienddaddy.html This is a testimony from a friend we made on Warped Tour this year. We call him "Daddy". His chance of survival was slim to none and he wakes up every morning thankful to be alive. This testimony hits me every time I watch it. Thanks Daddy for giving us inspiration and telling your story.  Your testimony is inspirational to me and hopefully to others who see it. 

 Jacob +

  

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/addiction/testimonyfromourfrienddaddy.html Sun, 18 Dec 2011 13:25:25 -0500 <![CDATA[Emotional Roller Coaster]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/emotionalrollercoaster.html I hate rollercoasters as they are, but emotional rollercoasters are even worse. I want of you not of me Lord. It's becoming overwhelming to not have my heart lead me in a direction and not know where you want me to go. I can't help, but like this specific girl and wish she was the one you wanted me to be with. I've been praying extensively about a relationship between her and I.

I pray to you, God, that if she isn't the one, that I would not think of my emotions towards her and let it be of something from me. Am I letting my heart choose? I pray to you, God, to have me forget about these feelings if they aren't of you.

Is these reoccurring feelings from you then Lord? Is this your way of telling me she IS the one? It's hard for me to forget about her. When I'm with her I'm FILLED with such joy. I don't expect anything from her. Being in her presence makes me happy. I'm stubborn. Man is stubborn. I'm foolish. Man is naturally foolish. I myself wouldn't know of what is of me and not of you and what is of you is not of me. It is as if I need a clear epiphany from you. A slap to the face, if you will. I really don't know how many more times I could ask for a sign from you. Please Lord.

I pray for knowledge. I pray for wisdom. I pray to know.

But the question is do you want me to know. Man is naturally curious and it's hard for me to try and continue when I don't know. Is this a test of faith? Well I'm trusting in you Lord, but you know my heart and you know I haven't completely let go of myself. I want YOU to lead me. I want YOU to take me where YOU want me. I want YOU Lord. You.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/sexstories/emotionalrollercoaster.html Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:49:15 -0500 <![CDATA[Look left, look right, we all have issues, look up- He's the only One that can help.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/lookleftlookrightweallhaveissueslookuphestheonlyonethatcanhelp.html My name is Edna, I am a youth worker at this awesome church on Long Island New York, called the journey. For the past month or so we have been doing a series of messages biased on Isaiah 9:6--  "For a Child has been born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders and he will be called, Mighty Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince Of Peace."


The message and the goal that we are trying to reach is:
teaching our youth more in depth about who God is- that He's more than just this big guy up in heaven, that He is a personal God and He is everything we need Him to be.
each week a leader will tell there testimony and explains how God is their "prince of peace", "Mighty God", "Everlasting Father", or "Wonderful Counselor" and hoping that by giving them the real stories of what God has brought us through and helped us realize what he is to us, that they would in the realest way- figure out just who God is in there own lives.
we decided that we wanted to put together a youth night to show the rest of the church what the kids have learned, and what better way to do that than breaking out into groups biased on interest, talent, and creativity. (which will also teach them to give there talents back to God, and will teach them that God gave them to us to bless others.)
we decided to break out into these groups:
drama
step
poetry/rap/spoken word
preparing the message
art
I am Co-Leading the poetry/spoken word/ rap group.
for me this was very challenging. i find that lately i have been going through so much with my home life, my work life, and just things that i have been wrestling with in my own heart.
it is so difficult to proclaim that God is your peace when you feel chaos, that He is mighty and strong, when you don't know what is next.
i really knew that God was challenging me and trying to prove to me that no matter what is going on He is good and always there.
helping lead always means that you are an example and that you will be showing the kids the direction to go in, so i always have to have material ready. I gave my testimony on how God is a mighty God, and when we broke out into our groups we had made a plan to pick one of the four names and come back the next week with something.

During the brainstorming i was really encouraged to see the kids were really getting the messages that were being spoken on these four names. writing is always very personal and beautiful and it overwhelmed me so much to hear the kids open up about how they were feeling and how they knew God was with them. and even though i felt like i didn't even want to talk about who God was because i was going through so much and i didnt feel like i was proclaiming it as i went through my most recent trials, i was encouraged that they were proclaiming it and it really getting it- and it just felt like God revealed it to me: we all have problems look left, and look right, but look up and I am the only one who will help you.

and the next week that i came in i shared about how God is MY mighty God:

The girl standing right here was a drinker
felt the force of her fathers five fingers
these hands have felt the grip of every vice
making evert wring turn and paid the price
born to a single mother
who couldnt make ends meet
had to make it on my own at just 13
brokenhearted iver my big sister just buried six feet deep
defeat was nothing new but i didnt have a clue
it would over take in a way that made it hard for me to change
when i met You i was afraid
didnt ever expect such a love to come my way
lift my face
calm my fears dry my tears
call me out by name
you are my mighty God
you were with me all along
when i was weak you kept me strong
you are my mighty God
through the sting of every pain
now Your lighting up my face
changing all my sinful ways
healing all my pain
you are a mighty God who will never be put to shame.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes you dont realize things until you see it in others
we all need the help of others, in fellowship, in relationship
with one another, we all need heart support. we need each other
but the more importantly the one who created our hearts. Jesus.
I'm so thankful that He overcomes my doubts and that He allows
us to always come out in victory.
thank you.

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/otherfollowups/lookleftlookrightweallhaveissueslookuphestheonlyonethatcanhelp.html Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:26:34 -0500 <![CDATA[I'm fustrated with self. I feel as if i am becoming like Eli from the old testament.]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/other/imfustratedwithselfifeelasifiambecominglikeelifromtheoldtestament.html I have been throughout the beginning of this year grown closer to god and had a fire passion to preach God's message, i paroled through streets looking for someone to share the gospel. Suddenly satan was scared of me as he could see he had no control over me. He distorted by discernment of God's voice giving me confusion this made mad, i acted like a mad person. I would walk back and forth as i was uncertain whether God was telling me to do something or not. My parents were worried to the state they gave me warnings if i didn't stop they would send to me to see a doctor. After this summer, I won that battle. But Satan had another Goliath for me to face and that was porn and masturbation, in the past i won that battle but it came back again. Now i am trapped i like the feeling porn gives me but i know it's wrong, i know deep inside of me i am not willing but also deep inside me there is a cry within me to stop. Everyday i wish i woke in the future with a wife by my side to my sexual urges. I have several accountability partners, i have had porn filters. I would just rather die before doing so repent be clean then enter heaven. I feel as if i am in a luxury hotel that fits my sexual needs but the hotel is surrounded with explosives ready to kill me. I have to leave the hotel but it's so nice. If i stay i die. If i go lose what my urges dreams of. I feel like am fighting Goliath with no arms. I struggle finding a friend that is just about the best christian they don't seem to exist. I feel comfortable with porn untill i see the people who cry out for god and this convicts me. What am i going through? What is happening to me? What can i do to refuel this passion for god enough to quit porn and be victorious in many other battles of my life?

]]> http://www.heartsupport.com/blogs/other/imfustratedwithselfifeelasifiambecominglikeelifromtheoldtestament.html Wed, 14 Dec 2011 03:56:48 -0500