"I Tried" by Ray Hawthorne Song Meaning: A song for persevering in sobriety
Ray Hawthorne has been making waves in pop punk with cheeky titles that belie surprisingly heartfelt themes about mental health, sobriety, and connection. His album Ray Hawthorne Can’t Be Trusted, which releases October 15, 2026, continues his impressive pace of an album a year, following Ray Hawthorne Isn’t Real (2025) and Ray Hawthorne Sucks (2024).
His song “I Tried” offers a perfect example of Ray Hawthorne’s signature style, delving into his own sobriety journey through a crackling punk soundscape. Ray took the time to share with HeartSupport about a moment of hard endurance in early sobriety that he feels is rarely discussed.
What events inspired “I Tried?”
Ray Hawthorne is 9 years into his sobriety journey — a road he started on by himself.
“I've never done AA or NA, though I know that helps a lot of people,” Ray Hawthorne shares. “For me, I was scared that if I did, it would become such an active part of my life when I was really trying to leave all of that behind. Part of my struggle was trying to do it on my own.”
The only reason Ray had the courage to consider sobriety was because his dad had been sober his whole life. Hearing his dad talk about that journey and the dark days of addiction as a thing of the past inspired Ray.
The songwriter says, “I was trying to get sober for a long time — even before I fully realized it. I went back and listened to songs from back then. There are all these lyrics about wishing I could stop. It was coming out of me like a Freudian slip. I wasn't consciously thinking about it, and then I'd just go right back to getting high while recording or right afterward.
“I tried so many times, and eventually I stopped cold turkey, but it happened in phases. I quit drinking about six months before I stopped doing drugs. If I had tried to quit both at the exact same time, it wouldn't have been as easy because I still had the one outlet.”
That harm reduction approach was aided by a surprising extra boost of motivation in the form of Scrooge McDuck.
“I read a comic book about Scrooge McDuck. It was about how he made all his money. There was a part where he was walking past bars, looking down at people, and thinking about how they were wasting their money,” Ray reveals. “For whatever reason, that really resonated with me at that time in my life. It's actually the background on my iPad now — I see this picture of Scrooge McDuck with a bag of money every day. The comic is called The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and it's worth reading.”
Through the real-life example of his father and the fictional cautionary tale of Scrooge McDuck, Ray did get sober. Now, he can see that what once felt like an impossibility has paved the way for the life he’s living. Married and expecting his first child, he’s built a life with his growing family in Georgia.
“I've strengthened relationships that were broken back when I was doing drugs, and I have solid new friendships with people I never would have met otherwise. It's a total 180. My whole life, I dreamed of being a working musician. I'm not delusional — I'm not getting stopped on the street — but I pay my bills every month with my music royalties. We bought a house using a home loan backed by Spotify revenue. None of this would have been possible if I were still doing drugs.”
What is the meaning of the song “I Tried?”
Although it’s clear now how worthwhile sobriety has been, it didn’t always feel that way for Ray Hawthorne. He wants to be honest about that.
He recalls, “Sobriety felt so futile, like something I was never going to be able to do. I kept trying over and over again and failing, but I found a weird comfort in saying, ‘Well, at least if I go down, I'm going down swinging.’ At least I'm not caught up in this web of addiction and content with it. I keep failing, but at least I keep trying to make my life better. There was a strange comfort in that, and that little thought made me feel a bit better in those days before I was able to get sober. It's such a specific emotion and not really something I've heard a song about, so that's what I dug into.”
That became the emotional core of “I Tried,” a song fans immediately expressed their wholehearted resonance with.
“A lot of people talk about either being active in addiction or being fully recovered. But to be ‘in recovery,’ you've theoretically already stopped. There isn't much discussion about that in-between moment of giving it your all, failing, and trying to get back up,” Ray muses.
Although he’s received so many stories from people who relate, he is clear that it is a natural product simply of authenticity, saying, “I don't write songs explicitly thinking, ‘I hope this helps someone.’ I just try to be as real as possible about what I've gone through. But I get really stoked when people connect with it. ‘I Tried’ has gotten the strongest reaction in terms of people reaching out personally to share their struggles, which feels good.”
How does “I Tried” fit into the messages of the album as a whole?
Ray Hawthorne Can’t Be Trusted draws heavily on influences like Bright Eyes, emo legends with emotive themes. Ray says that’s clear on the album, which is why “I Tried” is a crucial moment of perspective.
“I am emo to the death of me, so it is ‘pit of despair’ style music — I don't really write happy songs,” he says honestly. “Writing is a therapeutic process where I ask myself what past or present struggle really means something to me. When putting an album together, you hone in on a core set of themes. For this project, the core theme is just trying to get through the day, survive, and feel good about myself while processing things from a new perspective. It's basically my therapy diary.”
What is Ray Hawthorne’s message on mental health right now?
Through his own therapeutic process of writing music about his story, more than anything, Ray is hoping to show listeners a glimpse of what might be possible.
“I truly believe everyone can do it,” Ray says with conviction. “When I was trying to get sober, I used to think, ‘If I don't get high, I can't sleep,’ or ‘I don't want to leave the house because I won't be able to get high in two hours.’ But then I reminded myself: I didn't always have to get high to function. Nobody is born a drug addict. We all started from a place where we lived without these substances. Reminding myself of that helped me a lot. Wherever you're at, you have lived a life without substance abuse, and you can fight to take that back.”
He knows that the journey out of addiction will look different for everyone. For some, it will include AA or NA. For others, it will include therapy. For a few, like Ray, it will come as a cold turkey line in the sand. Regardless, he encourages everyone to find internal motivation, realistic, small steps, and to hold on to those things.
“There is no failure as long as you are trying to get better. I'm nine years sober and don't intend on relapsing, but if I ever did, I would just start over and fight again,” Ray says. “On a practical level, I used small, unique rules to help myself. Nine years ago, I was super into playing The Witcher 3 on PS4. I made a rule: if I wanted to play The Witcher 3, I wasn't allowed to get high. Rules like that only work if you enforce them, but focusing on small choices helped me move step-by-step. Instead of telling myself, ‘I can never get high again,’ I asked, ‘Do I want to get high and watch TV, or play The Witcher 3?’ Choosing the game gave me sober moments that built up over time.”
Whatever your version of The Witcher 3 is, “I Tried” is a reminder that there are things worth choosing over substance abuse. For many, that thing might be a concert or music itself.
Ray concludes, “People often fail when trying to uproot their entire life at once—whether with sobriety, fitness, or their diet. If you take it step-by-step, you'd be amazed at what you can do in a year. Taking it one step at a time is much easier than declaring, If I ever mess up, I'm a failure.’ People are too hard on themselves.”
If you need support in making your own small steps, consider joining our Support Calls program for a friendly peer voice along the way.
“I Tried” by Ray Hawthorne lyrics
Don't tell me I can change
Tell the coroner to keep me on ice
I'm not alone I'm afraid
And I'm ignoring all the missed calls and bright lights
For a bottle and the shade
And white pills taste better than white lies
I kinda like it when I shake
Because it means at least I fucking tried to get right
On and on and on it goes
I mask it all with chemicals
I'll waste another year or so this time
At least I fucking tried
To stay the hell awake
At least I fucking tried
To break myself away
Even though I can't
I can't stay up
I can't punch above my weight
Motherfucker I'm a dead man I'm unstable
If I die tonight just say
At least I tried
I can see it in your eyes
It's how you look at me then look away ashamed
Now I'm someone you despise
But never comfort me I'll be your mistake not your fucking lie
On and on and on it goes
I mask it all with chemicals
A faster fall a bitter pulse
To match with all the broken bones
On and on and on it goes
I mask it all with chemicals
I'll waste another year or so this time
At least I fucking tried
To stay the hell awake
At least I fucking tried
To break myself away
Even though I can't
I can't stay up
I can't punch above my weight
Motherfucker I'm a dead man I'm unstable
If I die tonight just say
At least I tried
At least I tried
Tried
